What Is Your Most Gross, Yucky, Disgusting Nursing Horror Story?

Here is my most gross, yucky, disgusting nursing story! Nurses Humor Article

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talaxandra

3,037 Posts

Specializes in Medical.
Did anyone else get an image in their head of Wile E. Coyote wearing poo-soaked scrubs? :)
Anyone else see that as Wile E. Coli?

LyndzBenz

26 Posts

Specializes in Ha! I am gaining experience everyday!.

I think mine is a Code Brown story as well.

I had a patient who hadn't had a BM in a few days because she was on a heap of pain medications. Dr. prescribed her some anti-constipation drugs and behold she needed to go. Well, I put the bedside commode in there, help her on it, and tell her that when she is done call me and I will take care of her. I proceed to sit back at the nurse's desk for a few min. That is when I start getting the phone calls. First one was from telemetry. "Lyndz, what is wrong down there in ya'lls hall?" I have no idea what she is talking about, so I just said that I would check on it. I walk back down the hall whence I came from earlier and this gravitating smell just knocks me back. It was the worst thing that I have ever smelled, and I have had GI bleeds, C.Diff patients, etc. The little lady that I had put on the pot earlier was the source of this god awful methane cloud that seemed to permeate every orfice in my nasal cavity. I immediately start to gag. But, telling myself that you are a new nurse, suck it up, I get in there and help her off the bedside commode and that is when it hits me full force both nasally and visually. There in the bottom of that commode was something akin to a pyramid. Not only was it visually spectacular, what I had smelled in the hall was like magnified X10 now. Getting it out was harder because this was no ordinary poo. It would not scrape off the plastic in this commode. I had to use like 20 paper towels just to get it decent. It was the grossest thing I have ever encountered. Oh, not only telemetry called. Respiratory (which I was this close to asking for oxygen!) and Sleep study also called about the smell because we all share the same hall. It was unreal.

I didn't have this patient, but a friend of mine walked into a patient's room to find poo all over the place, behind the toilet and of all weird places, on the wheels of the bed itself. Makes you wonder what these patient's are thinking. If they are thinking at all. Bless.

Specializes in Cardiology, Oncology, Hospice,IV Therapy.
Anyone else see that as Wile E. Coli?

:lol2::lol::hehe:

nitenite

97 Posts

Recently had a confused pt with a touch of salmonella. The poor dear realized she was going to vomit after I put her on the commode; she jumped up and bent over to vomit, and when I ran up behind her to steady her, she exploded and showered my scrubs in the foulest diarrhea. I don't know how I didn't vomit all over her head! Cleanup was hell!

K+MgSO4, BSN

1,753 Posts

Specializes in Surgical, quality,management.

while out in rural New South Wales I got a call from the ambos to turn on the holding roon (cold room) they were bringing a body in. Nothing unusal..... GP calls into the hospital and says that she will do a death sert because this guy was N stage cancer pt who had refused all services we offered him. Ambos call round to the ward after transfering the body bit shook up he had been dead for about 5 days so he was all bloated and oozing.

I get a phone call from the son wanting his ring back. Today they were not willing to wait until undertakers picked him up the next day they wanted it back. The EN that I was workinf with on AM shift said no way. The EN from the PM shift said no so me and a pregnant RN had to go into holding room, unzip body bag check both hands because we couldnt of been lucky and had it on the first hand we checked!! Other RN holds guys arm and turns away saying you are going toi have to do it I am just about not vomitting here. Take his finger, of course swollen up after 5 days. Get a load of soap and wiggle and jiggle his ring off his finger. Pulling and tugging at his finger and POP!! His knuckle dislocates! Eughhh!! Gag a bit but proceed to get ring off. Then have to warm ot up under hot water so dont freak the family out. The wonders of rural nursing Auzzie style!!

Specializes in Cardiology, Oncology, Hospice,IV Therapy.

There was this guy I used to know who was in charge of setting up trapezes on the pts beds. He told me this one day he was setting up the trapeze on this lady's bed and when he leaned over her bed to check something, she looked at him and said"I like you" and hiked up her gown and pushed his head right into her coochie.:barf02::barf01:

nitenite

97 Posts

:rotfl: I woulda paid money to see that!

There was this guy I used to know who was in charge of setting up trapezes on the pts beds. He told me this one day he was setting up the trapeze on this lady's bed and when he leaned over her bed to check something, she looked at him and said"I like you" and hiked up her gown and pushed his head right into her coochie.:barf02::barf01:

Originally Posted by abnurse

Had a 900# lady admitted during the night and I had the honor of cleaning her up the next day. While bathing her I had to lift skin folds to get the foulest smelling stink off her. I lifted her breast and there was a dead kitten in the fat fold. I nearly aspirated on my vomit. It must have been there for a while because it was infested with maggots.

There is no way...that is just tooooo disgusting!

:imbar

The sad thing is i can believe it. A friend of the family who was a nurse told me this. A guy came in to the ER one night with a trench coat on and said he need help. When the recpt. asked what the problem was he opened the coat and there was a kitten on his member. DEAD. apparently he wanted a little and instead of doing it him self he did IT to the kitten and the kitten died of the trauma and when that happened the kittens rectum tightened and the guy couldn't get it off. Needless to say the guy is doing some major time for animal cruelty among other things.

:eek::paw:

There is no way...that is just tooooo disgusting!

:imbar

A friend and I volunteered at the local VA hospital years ago...called bingo...I remember a fella masturbating under the table....That does not tuen a hair on my head any longer...I have had residents in LTC masturbate with their hot cereal..

forget about looking at omeal i will never east it again!!!!!!!!!!

goodneighbor

56 Posts

Thank you all for these hilarious moments and memories! This is the best thread ever to get rid of nursing stress. Much of we what we do is actually disgusting when you think about it. However I am sitting here laughing my head off and eating fudge icing for pete's sake! Go figure.

Specializes in Rehab, LTC.
I was a new CNA in the nursing home and feeling very proud of my first step in my chosen career.

A nice littel old man in a wheel chair waved at one of my co-workers (a pretty littel 18 year-old, fresh out of high school sugar and spice type of girl). He said "honey come over here please" as she bent down to talk to him. He moved the blanket covering his legs and SPLAT! he ejaculated right in her face and mouth. I never saw her again and thus my nursing career beagn...........

Ok I know this post is old, but I have to comment because that is so foul :barf01:.....but for some sick reason made me laugh too!!! :chuckle

Specializes in LTC.

I'm walking in the hall and a visitor says " Miss I think you want to see this" so I turn the corner and there is one of my residents ( all demented) bent over with is pants down taking a dump.. right in the hallway.