What are some of the most ridiculous things patients have asked of you? - page 6

what are some of the most ridiculous or outrageous things patients have asked of you? i am nurse one of two nurses with 4 patients the other night in delivery. place was hopping. i answered the light... Read More

  1. by   emily_mom
    In the nursing home I used to work at there was a man with a masturbation problem. You knew if you were going to touch him at all, you put on gloves.

    Well, he told me he had an accident (and his hand was in his pants). I got him into the bathroom and gloved up. He grabbed my hand and asked me to finish for him!!!!!!!! EWWW

    To top it off, he had been my grandma's neighbor for years, and I was good friends with all of his grandkids. He was always such a sweet man. Makes you wonder what he was like in his youth...did he get it alot (hence the masturbating prob) or not at all (hence the masturbating prob)?

    Kristy
  2. by   Smoked Pickle
    ugh.
  3. by   cactus wren
    GI bleed,etoh abuse,frequent ativan, banana bag,4 way reatraints.....you`ve all seen it many times........anyways.....4am...he rouses and says "hey pretty woman, the handcuffs are fun, but don`t you think they can come off now?"
  4. by   anitame
    LMAO cactus, that's hysterical!
  5. by   monkijr
    I had a patient once ask that I ensure his Viagra Rx get filled before the carnvial weekend. (The biggest weekend of the season) Guess he was gonna make some fireworks of his own.

    Does that sound like a ridiculous request?::::imbar
  6. by   mother/babyRN
    Iuck! And I learned my lesson in the ass scratchong dept. I will probably never live that one down. Still "cracks" people up to this day...
  7. by   Jay-Jay
    I had a terminal Ca. pt. with the most horrible fulmigating tumor on her chest wall and shoulder. She loved her dogs, and used to ask me to give them a biscuit on my way out!

    I love dogs, so I didn't mind at all....
  8. by   mother/babyRN
    I just had a patient ( or actually, some lady) call and ask us if she was pregnant. We ask the appropriate questions and she asks if there is a way to tell who is the father. We keep giving info and asking questions and SHE hangs up because WE are too nosy...Hello! SHE called US!
  9. by   Nurse K-Bear
    when I was a nursing assistant, I was helping a patient who had a stroke wash up. We got to his peri area. He told me he wanted me to scrub him down there like he was at the car wash. I turned bright red and told him I did not need to wash his peri area because he could use his unaffected arm to wash himself. He told me it was my job to wash it. Well I did not, I just gave him the washcloth closed the curtain to give him privacy and I would be back in a few minutes. I went back in finished dressing him and nothing more was said.
  10. by   mother/babyRN
    Man, they will try to get some any way they can, won't they ( sorry guys). New grad and I have a forties something cardiac patient. I am in the bathroom putting water in his basin and getting ready to bring it out to him so he can wash up. I don't see him walk in behind me, close the door and rudely but crudely suggest I service him since "it was my duty as his nurse to make sure everything worked before he went home." Somehow I summoned my demeanor and calmly ( though I did NOT feel calm) mentioned that I was a black belt in karate and could aim something to be CERTAIN nothing worked when he got home...He laughed and opened the door...I, white as a sheet, informed my head nurse ( in those days they were not nurse managers) I could not continue having him for an assignment....She made me go back in there and figure out a way to confront this guy and make him understand the wrong route he took. These days the whole sexual harrassment issue would have come into play, but then, I had to do what the boss said, and come to find out, the pt apologized profusely, started to cry and then commenced telling me about his fears over his life and his future...You never know.....
  11. by   RN from OZ
    I have had a pt buzz me and ask me to help clean out her hand bag, as she may as well seeing as how she has all this time on her hands !!!!! I do not know what they think we do all day!!!!

    At least over here when pts get demanding I can tell them " This is the best healthcare you will get in the world for FREE !!"
  12. by   kurtz
    I was working in birthing suites in a busy maternity unit. Woman came in in labour, with husband. This guy was a nightmare. He sits in the corner of the room as far away from his wife as he can get in the recliner and starts to complain about the pain in his back. He expects me to listen and when I don't because I am paying attention to his wife, he says "What sort of nurse are you anyway?" I looked at him and said your wife is in labour here sir, she is my first priority. He mumbled away about his pain for a while. I left the room and came back in a while and his wife asked for pain meds. I thought she was coping quite well and went through the usual spiel and eventually asked what sort of meds she would like and explained oral or IM. She said IM Pethidine. I went and got it came back and she asked if we could just leave it here so she could give it herself. Only then I twigged that the meds were for hubby! Then as labout went on this guy was becoming more and more agitated. He was becoming abusive to his wife telling her to hurry up and so forth. Eventually I had to tell him to settle down and be quiet or we would have to ask him to leave. He then asked if we could do a caesar or something. I explained that we would not be doing this. He then asked if we could bring a television into the room as an important football game was on! The answer of course was no. The woman eventually gave birth to a beautiful little baby girl. Literally the moment that baby was born (placenta not in view yet) he asked where the nearest bar was and did it have a TV and shot out of the hospital to go see the second half of his precious football game. This was their first baby too!!
  13. by   kids
    Lovely man!

    I bet he was a great help with those 2am feedings.

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