What are some of the most ridiculous things patients have asked of you? - page 5

what are some of the most ridiculous or outrageous things patients have asked of you? i am nurse one of two nurses with 4 patients the other night in delivery. place was hopping. i answered the light... Read More

  1. by   NurseLKY
    I had a patient that was under a 72 hour psych hold. Well every time she would leave her room we would redirect her back. Any way she got mad and called the police saying we were holding her hostage. So then the police called the nursing station making sure everthing was ok. There was a police officer on our floor sitting with a guy that was just put in jail. So I asked the officer to talk to her and calm her down. Well as soon as he walked in her eyes got real big and she said that was the fastest response she ever got. And the funny thing is that they knew each other because she calls 911 all the time. She was a very good patient after that.
  2. by   JeannieM
    Originally posted by bettybobbs
    Once while giving a backrub to a young male bedridden patient, he got an erection. He said to me,"Betty look what you did to me, Can you take care this too?" I looked him straight in the eye and said, "Sorry that's not part of the service".
    Now Betty, that was an EXTREMELY insensitive answer. What about holistic care and meeting the patient's "sexual" needs (remember when there was a big push about that?). :roll
  3. by   donmurray
    An elderly Alzheimers sufferer always used to stop me and ask; "When's the next bus to Ping'un Ping'un?" I think that's in Java, or Malaysia, so it was never likely to happen, especially as we were in a small village in Norfolk (England) which did not even have a bus service!
  4. by   JEA616
    After 20 years in Nursing there are an infinitr number. One stands out. I was on 3-11 in L&D during a rare quiet night. I answered the phone and was told by the operator there was a patient with a question of a personal nature. In my most courteous tone I asked the patient what I could for for her. She said she had an emergency and was almost hysterical. I calmed her down so she could speak rationally. She then asked me how many calories were in semen. I of course couldn't answer because I was in tears of laughter on the floor surrounded by 4 other hysterically laughing nurses.:roll
  5. by   nurseratchett29
    I was once asked by a LTC patient to stop giving her so much LATE SEX because it kept her up all night. I could not figure out what she was talking about until I tried to give her her LASIX dose. The replied that she got too much LATE SEX and that's why she was up all night (going to the bathroom. :roll:roll:roll
  6. by   Smoked Pickle
    I had a paitent in the ER who came in S.O.B. tell me that we took too long, it was too late and "I'm dead". When the doctor asked how she could still be talking then she just glared at us.
  7. by   rebelwaclause
    I had a patient ask me to make sure no one bothered her that day except her husband, who was going to drop of some weed latter that evenning. I told her if she was talking about anything other than the weeds that burden our lawn outside, I was calling the doctor to have her discharge papers ready for when the narcotics police comes to get her.... and her husband. She understood me load and clear.
  8. by   ShelleyERgirl
    Originally posted by inSANE
    We were having the "night from hell" in our Knife And Gun Club ED and I was working with another RN and some baby surgical residents (newbies). We had just received another GSW to the head, blood everywhere, people running amuck and pale surgical residents to boost. The trauma bay doors are shut, we are running around attempting intubation and IV's when this wild eyed woman bursts through the doors screaming "When are you guys going to get the time to give me my papers, my cootchie itches and I need to get some cream!" I was deemed useless after that, can't die laughing and expect me to be able to find a ?????? vein
    LMAO!!! :roll :roll
  9. by   rebelwaclause
    Now ...THAT is funny!
  10. by   mother/babyRN
    Come to think of it I have had a lady tell me she was on latex and rabbit pills ( in my er days)...That would be lasix and verapamil, by the way...
  11. by   sunnygirl272
    Originally posted by JEA616
    After 20 years in Nursing there are an infinitr number. One stands out. I was on 3-11 in L&D during a rare quiet night. I answered the phone and was told by the operator there was a patient with a question of a personal nature. In my most courteous tone I asked the patient what I could for for her. She said she had an emergency and was almost hysterical. I calmed her down so she could speak rationally. She then asked me how many calories were in semen. I of course couldn't answer because I was in tears of laughter on the floor surrounded by 4 other hysterically laughing nurses.:roll

    reminds me of that joke...punchline is"honey, if you're doin' that, the guys aren't gonna care if you're a little chunky..."
  12. by   JailRN
    THese tales are TOO funny. LMAO

    When I was a new LPN, had pts ask how much longer before I became A real nurse (RN)

    Since I'm in a jail, I come across a lot of men pleasuring themselves. Some of our newer nurses run screaming for the hills. I look at them while they're yelling for me to look at them OOHH baby, and I ask them "Is that the best you can do?" laugh and turn my back, while the other guys in the tank ride him "oh, she got you ,bro!" "she told you " etc.

    I remember being in labor, I would not have had the nerve to ask a nurse to scratch my butt. LORD!!!
  13. by   SKM-NURSIEPOOH
    originally posted by mother/babyrn
    what are some of the most ridiculous or outrageous things patients have asked of you? i am nurse one of two nurses with 4 patients the other night in delivery. place was hopping. i answered the light of one of the other nurses patients, who was a very immature primip (married), whom we were certain, at some point, due to her clinical picture, was going to be a c/s. she wanted to make certain i knew how to detach her from the monitor and help her to the bathroom. no problem. however, not two minutes after i had left the room, she rang again and began yelling. her nurse was busy (did i mention we had 3 other patients in active labor?) so i went in, expecting some sort of major problem. she asked me to scratch her ass...in those words, exactly...i was taken aback and she had to have noticed my facial expression as she quickly countered that she couldn't reach and her husband, who was wide awake next to her, didn't want to do it....i am ashamed to say that i did put on some gloves and not too willingly scratched it, but when she insisted we start wiping her after trips to the bathroom, i just had to ask how she had managed to reach herself all the months leading up to her current admission. she was also ruptured so there was no way....she was a real trip....i have also had patients ask that we pop zits and in my cardiac unit days, some of the requests from patients are just too risque to repeat, but never had i had such wacky requests on a regular basis, until i transferred to ob...how about all of you?
    ...because i wouldn't of done the a$$ scratching thing...too close to kissing the a$$ if you know what i mean... lol!!! you're a much better person than i am...in that department...that's for sure!!!

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