What are some of the most ridiculous things patients have asked of you? - page 4

what are some of the most ridiculous or outrageous things patients have asked of you? i am nurse one of two nurses with 4 patients the other night in delivery. place was hopping. i answered the light... Read More

  1. by   MollyMo
    Well, let's see. I had a patient who told me that I was her maid and that I was to wipe her. I told her she would be surgically removed from the bedpan before I ever touched her. I had a woman ask if she could touch my hair, touched it without permission, commented on the fact that it didn't feel like steel wool and then asked if she offended me. I told her that stupidity does offend me. I had a lady screaming at the top of her lungs. When we got to her room she said" put my hand to my mouth." I just walked out. I had a male patient screaming at the top of his lungs, and when I got to his room he said--are ya ready? --"I can't breathe."
  2. by   inSANE
    We were having the "night from hell" in our Knife And Gun Club ED and I was working with another RN and some baby surgical residents (newbies). We had just received another GSW to the head, blood everywhere, people running amuck and pale surgical residents to boost. The trauma bay doors are shut, we are running around attempting intubation and IV's when this wild eyed woman bursts through the doors screaming "When are you guys going to get the time to give me my papers, my cootchie itches and I need to get some cream!" I was deemed useless after that, can't die laughing and expect me to be able to find a vein??????
  3. by   mother/babyRN
    Ok kiddo, YOU win!
  4. by   sunnygirl272
    ooops gotta try it again
  5. by   sunnygirl272
    Originally posted by bettybobbs
    I have had some real goodies in my nursing career. Once a patient asked me to roll her hair after she had showered and put on makeup herself. I stated to her I don't roll my own hair and never learned. I studied nursing not cosmotology. Once while giving a backrub to a young male bedridden patient, he got an erection. He said to me,"Betty look what you did to me, Can you take care this too?" I looked him straight in the eye and said, "Sorry that's not part of the service".
    go to thus link for my pathetic joke... http://www.funpic.hu/ad/ad3177.jpg
  6. by   mother/babyRN
    Ha ha.....The last part of your story has also happened to me but I was so shocked by it, I had no idea what to say......
  7. by   RenayCCRN
    Made the mistake of politely asking my paient roommate, (new admit) what he was here for (nice nursing school open ended question). He promptly dropped his pants to show me how his new implant worked (must have been at least 70 maybe older). Only time in my life I have been speechless.
  8. by   paigenp
    Don't you love it when your patients in the ED bring in their vomit or the blood they hawked up at home to show you; just in case you didn't believe them.
  9. by   Enright
    I had a rehab patient ask me for a hand job. Before I could get a word out he was quick to say "Oh, I asked my wife and she said to go ahead and have the nurses take care of me". Gee, Thanks.
  10. by   mother/babyRN
    WE get the pads with the amniotic fluid and whatever else kind of discharge you can imagine.....I am always stymied when someone on the monitor asks ME if they are having a contraction...Hello?
  11. by   kathkrn
    My favourite thing was we pulled at VSA from a car at the front of the ER. I was brought into the hospital with her via the waiting room, as the side door was frozen shut. I was hanging on to the stretcher, doing CPR. A co-worker was approached by a waiting patient and asked how this was more serious than their finger laceration and if they would be required to wait even longer to see the doc...You think?
  12. by   Cindy_A
    May I ask what a VSA is? I know a MVA ia a motor vehicle accident, so it must be some type of accident, I assume. Thanks!
  13. by   inSANE
    Cindy,
    Do you think it could be a Vasectomy accident (VSA), that could render a man totally unresponsive and lifeless...heeeheee. Makes my peepee hurt just thinking about it. Kath, help us...my mind is totally dangerous when it wonders.
    Smooches to all!

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