I was doing a private in home shift for an elderly man with numerous medical problems, including CHF and diabetes. One day, he seemed in really rough shape, slightly cyanotic, pulse so fast and irregular that I couldn't count it, and heart sounding like an old washing machine on its last legs. I ordered him off to bed, and called the doctor.
It just happened that it was the day for his visiting nurse to come in. He had a huge king-sized bed, and was lying towards the middle of it The nurse said to him "I hope you don't mind if I have to get right up on the bed here with you to take your BP."
"That's the best offer I've had all day!" replied my patient!
I decided right then that he wasn't in quite as bad a shape as I'd originally thought....