Understanding Women

I've never had anything waxed. I'm not afraid of bugs. I step on spiders. Tossed a black widow into the woodstove a couple of weeks ago.

steph

Darlin', *I* am the designated bug killer in this household.

My husband sees a spider or cockroach and he's up on a chair screaming at the top of his lungs like a little girl.

The same thing goes for any thing that could possibly be seen as "gross" in this house- cleaning the toilet, emptying expired and long-forgotten things out of the fridge, etc. Somebody vomiting? I'm cleaning it up. He blows his nose? It's going on my side of the bed in the trashcan because he can't bear the thought of sleeping next to snotty tissues.

In return, he is obligated to perform a number of hubby-designated duties, like fixing the cars without complaint, lugging out the trash, protecting me from armed villains who attempt to harm me, punching out people who offend me, etc.

I like bugs. Some are really beautiful, like dragonflies. But if I touch a cricket or a fly I feel ill. I can't kill them- but touching them repulses me. And I have been known to scream at the sight of a big hairy centipede.

What is it about the human psyche? I can change the dressing on a stage 4 decubitis with no problem- but one day my husband had smashed his finger and the wound extended into his nail bed. I almost passed out! It was like - OMG that is so gross!

I've devoted my life to understanding women; unsuccessfully. I still cannot work out the one I've been married to for 28 years. 28 years She keeps because she thinks I'm house broken

I am the spider monitor in our house, too. We have an agreement: They may live in our house if they stay in the BASEMENT. When they come into my turf upstairs, WAMMO!
I have discussed this with them numerous times, my husband even made them a FLASH presentation on the subject, but some of them just don't get it!

MUUUHAAAHAAAHAAHAHA! Scary, isn't it?

Im not going to comment at all on the wax on wax off thing

Ive been married almost 30 yrs, understanding is simple.
She is always right
I am always wrong
Never buy housewares for gifts even if asked to
Always buy jewelry for birthdays, anniversaries, holidays and dont forget any of them
always say Yes dear you are right, I am wrong, may I now please go play golf.
always put the seat down after your done
always say,,, Yes dear, you always look wonderfull,,,,,,no exceptions.


See its simple really

Makes life much easier

Doesnt take rocket science to figure that out!!!!!!

I don't do the bikini wax thing, but I do have my brows (brow?? LOL) and chin (eeek!) done from time to time. It's not so bad...

Funny about bugs, etc. I too like them, especially praying mantisses and dragonflies.

We also have lots and lots of creative spiders around the house. They actually put their webs up IN FRONT of the motion detector porch lights--attracting the moths right to them!

A couple of others put their webs up between the carport and some very tall trees. We haven't seen them actually do it, but when we take the dogs out at night, there are the webs. Then, early the next morning, they are gone. It seems they put them up and take them down on a daily basis.

A couple of weeks ago, when we brought the plants inside for the winter, I noticed that between my little tabletop fountain (trying to get a little feng shui into my life) and the mother-in-law's tongue, there were a couple of webs, just single strands, with a couple of hundred little, teeny, tiny (NB?) spiders walking along them, to and fro, like the spider form of kids playing house.

Husband and I consulted on it, and determined that we would just take the plant back outside to let the little guys find appropriate homes. (We did, and they did.)

When I think it's a strange world in which we live, I realize I may be making a big contribution to that strangeness. (I think St. Francis must be living at our house.)