Twas the Month after Christmas (Cute)

  1. [color=#990099]twas the month after christmas

    [color=#990099]twas the month after christmas and all through the house
    nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
    [color=#990099]the cookies i'd nibbled, the eggnog i'd taste.
    all the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
    [color=#990099]when i got on the scales there arose such a number!
    when i walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
    [color=#990099]i'd remember the marvelous meals i'd prepared;
    the gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
    [color=#990099]the wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
    and the way i'd never said, "no thank you, please."
    [color=#990099]as i dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
    and prepared once again to do battle with dirt---
    [color=#990099]i said to myself, as i only can
    "you can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"
    [color=#990099]so--away with the last of the sour cream dip,
    get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip
    [color=#990099]every last bit of food that i like must be banished
    till all the additional ounces have vanished.
    [color=#990099]i won't have a cookie--not even a lick.
    i'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
    [color=#990099]i won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
    i'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
    [color=#990099]i'm hungry, i'm lonesome, and life is a bore---
    but isn't that what january is for?
    [color=#990099]unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
    happy new year to all and to all a good diet!

    [color=#990099]author unknown
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  2. 2 Comments

  3. by   Diary/Dairy
  4. by   PedsRN1991
    OMG...too funny!!

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