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- Mar 17, '08 by armyicurnThanks for all the stories. Love them!
- Feb 25, '10 by JasgopAwesome Stories!
- Feb 26, '10 by FranemtnurseQuote from flightnurse2bi just love these. no wonder i love nursing so much.:done of my favorites was at the triage window, and the patient signing in with "bugs in my cookie".
we got a call from a sweet little old lady one evening that she would be bringing her husband in, but someone would need to meet her outside because he was unable to walk. a few of us wait patiently at the ambulance entrance until a car pulls up, with the little old lady in the front seat, and in the back seat, all we could see was a broom sticking straight up. she proceeded to get out of her car, and when we asked where her husband was, she stated "oh hes lying down in the backseat". so lo and behold, i opened the back door to find her husband lying prone, with the broom handle firmly implanted in his butt. turns out, he was told he had internal hemorrhoids and wanted to make sure all his medication got in there.
one night while sitting at the station, i noticed a foley cath, balloon fully inflated on the floor, and a naked toosh walking down the hallway. after running to catch the man, who was in his 80's, he spun around to show me his handiwork. after pulling out the catheter, to prevent furthur trauma, he took off his hospital gown and tied off the base of his penis like a tourniquet to stop the bleeding.
(this one isnt er) one night i was floated to the psych floor and assigned with two older women in a semi-private room. they clearly didn't get along. one woman was in the restroom for atleast an hour and a half, and the other woman banged on the door screaming that she had to go bad. after this went on for about 30 minutes, i guess she couldn't hold it anymore. she got in her roommates bed, jumped under the covers, did her business, and got back in her own bed. when the other patient finally emerged from the bathroom, she pulled back the covers to find a big poop in the middle of her bed. needless to say they were seperated.
- Feb 27, '10 by HollyHobbyWe had a young couple, new immigrants from the Middle East, who came into our ER very embarrassed. The woman had decided to remove her underarm hair by waxing it. Problem was, the hair was so long that she ended up with basically wads of wax stuck in her hair and couldn't get it out. This resulted in a fairly painful procedure.
We also had an obese man who came in complaining of acutely swollen testicles. His wife (bless her heart!) explained to the doc that in order to reduce the swelling, she had been giving her husband frequent, um, oral s**. She was surprised that the swelling hadn't gone down at all.
- Mar 1, '10 by KAUAIRNEMTER was fun. I had a detainee pt one time coming in for scrotal pain. As I asked him to show me for examination, he declined and insisted that he only wanted to see the MD. It was a day-night shift change. While I was endorsing the pt, the guard, who was with the detainee, was leaving the pt room. I asked the guard if the pt was handcuffed to the bed and he told me that his ankles were shackled and won't go too far. The next day, I recognized a picture in the local newspaper. He got away about 3 hours after I left. He was caught that same night. Turns out, he planned the escape as stated by his cell mate.
- Mar 25, '10 by lmbirdone night i was working when one of my elderly male patients started yelling out HELP ME! HELP ME! I rushed into his room to find him laying naked spread eagle with a urinal in one hand...whats the trouble? I asked. I CANT FIND MY PENIS he hollered up at me. We stared rather blankly at each other for a few moments as he fumbled around trying to find his penis...Then suddenly he was successful...There you are you little sh*t I've got you now he said, and proceeded to stuff it in the urinal...I live for these kind of happy endings
- Apr 8, '11 by Nurse4ever88These stories are hilarious! At least there's fun at work! I am wanting to do the ER. I volunteered in the ER for 6 months, and saw nurses that were very nice, and made jokes, but also some cold hearted people who I think chose a wrong career path,,,unfortunatelly.
- Apr 17, '11 by becca001Oh, which one to tell...
okay, received a call one night from a lady that wanted to make a reservation to be seen for her abd pain. She was shocked to find out we are open all night and don't keep regular doctor hours. (why don't more people think this way???)
A elderly gentleman with a tattoo on his abd stating "Love Lifted Me" and an arrow pointing (you guessed it!) downwards. He grins and states "Yup, it still works".
An object in the rectum that the surgeon, who has a sick sense of humor, packaged in a box complete with wrapping paper and a bow, and sent back to the ED doc.
The woman that came in with multiple trauma (lacerated kidney, several rib fx, small pnuemo) was hit and pinned to the garage wall by a golf cart. The golf cart was driven by her 2 dogs. (neither had a license)
Yup, this is a crazy world we live in :PLast edit by becca001 on Apr 17, '11 : Reason: missed word
- Apr 17, '11 by Aly529I'm not a nurse yet but I do have a story. I had taken my dad to the ER a couple of years back (ended up being appendicitis) . In the room across there was one girl who pulled out her IV's and started spraying blood all over. Insane. The poor nurse had to run after her to get her to sign AMA papers.