Things patients have taught me NOT to do...

Considering how germy they are, WHY would someone want a rodent up their rectum??

And who what the genius who first thought of that idea and what were they smoking or snorting?!

I agree, that's animal abuse.

This thread is great...well, here goes (these are personal experiences)

Dont stab yourself in the hand with a pencil (on purpose) and then expect pity from your ex

Dont get your vicodin and then take it all the first few days you have it then go back to the doctor a week later saying you "lost it"...

When you buy a motorcycle, the first time you ride it is advisable that you wear a helmet and that it preferably not be raining - however the rain does make it more exciting (as does not wearing a helmet) - it provides for good leg fractures

When shooting BB guns at people, even though you may not intentionally be aiming at their face - the BB may hit them in the eye and cause irreversable damage...

Somehow when cutting an onion if you slip and cut a huge gash in your forearm (yeah - it was a big slip) and it is gaping open then - yes - it needs stitches

When you have been smoking pot and slam your finger in the car door it may be funny tonight - but you wont find it nearly as funny tomorrow

Threatening your ex by taking various drugs (ecstacy, acid and whatever else you can pop) and then driving through the Sierra Nevada and getting thrown in the Psych ward at the hosp. then running out in your hospital gown and being restrained by police is NOT how to win someone back

From my old days in the ER, in a few major US cities, we have pulled out the following: gerbil, hamster, baby mouse, coca-cola bottle, pepsi bottle, candles, 14 inch long zucchini,salt and pepper shakers(of course, matching). These are just a few, too many to think of right now.
The best I forgot: a hamburger with the bun from a vagina, soda bottles there also

When you buy a motorcycle, the first time you ride it is advisable that you wear a helmet and that it preferably not be raining - however the rain does make it more exciting (as does not wearing a helmet) - it provides for good leg fractures


We used to refer to those crotch rocket motorcycles as "Donor-cycles"....Erin

This brings to mind the young couple that found that plastic wrap does not make a good emergency condom. :roll The paramedics that answered the 911 were still laughing when they arrived at ER! The ER doc found it difficult to "break the seal"!:chuckle :chuckle

I wont divulge - but did you know patients give advice to other patients who are in the same room? I don't know, maybe I am just 'lucky'.

Don't leave a dripping washcloth that has been in the toilet anywhere near a confused old lady, while you go get a laundry cart and she has her teeth in her hand.:imbar

Stay away from lawnmower edges infected with MRSA. My home care patient had just had a TKR, scratched his knee on a lawnmower he was fiddling with, and wound up not only losing the new joint that had just been installed, but being placed on Vancomycin for over two months....