Things nursing school FAILED to tell us

Manley71704LPN · Oct 1, 2005

Wouldn't it have been great if they told us this stuff in nursing school?
NOTE: A LOT OF MINE WERE MEANT FOR LTC NURSES
The human body is capable of holding 200 cups of H2O/coffee in your bladder....literally.
We were always instructed "Your body needs sleep to heal, rest, ect...",yeah that's funny.
Practicing sterile procedures for EVERYTHING is a waste of time(except catheters).
Of the 40 pts I have, I know what all the side effects of their meds are(yeah, all 50 meds per pt!!!). Oh yeah, and I know the GENERIC-TRADE names too.
Remember calcuating drip rates for G-tubes??? I don't.
They won't tell you what a med-cocktail is in school.
Anyone else wanna share???? :chuckle

yeah, what they fail to tell you...

what to say when a pt says "My poop TASTE bitter" Do you think there's something wrong with me? uh yeah! your eating your poop!!!

or how to explain test results or anything to a pt on their level.....which is unknown day to day.

Or my favorite.... What if Q's (questions).... What if i'm in pain tomorrow but i has no pain today? you wanted to say "well let's worry about that tomorrow!"

I Love nursing....everyday is a new and exciting as the first. Nothing surprises me anymore! :)

Ruby Vee, BSN · Oct 1, 2005

that a sat probe on the member doesn't have a very good tracing.

that a male patient is obsessed with his member and will attach to it things that ought not to be attached, and will remove from it things which ought to stay attached. (sat probes do not belong on the member; foley catheters do!).

that there is no creature as strong as a demented little old lady.

that willingness to make dad a dnr is inversely proportional to the quality of relationship they had with dad.

that managers lie when they're trying to get you to come and work for them.

that you probably don't really want your manager to come out of the office and give you a hand, no matter how busy you are. (you're an icu manager, you used to be an icu nurse. so how come you can't recognize vt on the little screen above the patient's bed? now is not the time for a complete neuro exam to figure out why he's not responding to you!)

some of your coworkers are lazy, some lie, and some are lazy liars.

that you should be wary of eating anything the family made at home and brought in for the nurses.]

that you will get along with some of the patients no one else can stand, and that sometimes you can't stand everybody's favorite patients. ditto with families.

that when the patient's family member is having hysterics and the patient's physician orders valium 10 mg. im for the family member, you really ought to consider sending/taking the family member to er rather than carrying out the order. even if your nurse manager insists that if you won't give it, she will, and you'd better be waiting for her in her office when she's done. (nurse manager couldn't recognize respiratory arrest, either. patient's physician intubated family member on the floor of patient's room, and nurse manager assisted with transfer to the er. subsequent conversation in nurse manager's office did not go precisely as nurse manager initially intended it to, and much better than rn expected it to!)

that if you don't want to explain to journalists on tv why you did what you did, you probably ought not to do it.

that if you have no sense of humor, you have no business in nursing and probably won't last long anyway!

ruby

talaxandra · Oct 1, 2005

that you will get along with some of the patients no one else can stand, and that sometimes you can't stand everybody's favorite patients. ditto with families.
that when the patient's family member is having hysterics and the patient's physician orders valium 10 mg. im for the family member, you really ought to consider sending/taking the family member to er rather than carrying out the order. even if your nurse manager insists that if you won't give it, she will, and you'd better be waiting for her in her office when she's done. (nurse manager couldn't recognize respiratory arrest, either. patient's physician intubated family member on the floor of patient's room, and nurse manager assisted with transfer to the er. subsequent conversation in nurse manager's office did not go precisely as nurse manager initially intended it to, and much better than rn expected it to!)

that? awesome!

Lisa CCU RN, RN · Oct 1, 2005

I THINK THAT ALL OF THAT IS NEED TO KNOW INFORMATION. HOW DARE THEY NOT SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THAT STUFF. WHEN I START SCHOOL I WILL HAVE ALL OF THOSE QUESTIONS ANSWERED BEFORE I SET FOOT IN A CLINICAL:rotfl: . BUT MAYBE NOT. I HOPE I NEVER RUN INTO PROJECTILE VOMMITTING OR TOO MUCH POOP.

I can guarentee you will see both and i am just I tech.

elizabells, BSN, RN · Oct 3, 2005

that you should be wary of eating anything the family made at home and brought in for the nurses.

i keep hearing this...why? do they poison you or something? seriously, i'm confused.......

Ruby Vee, BSN · Oct 3, 2005

i keep hearing this...why? do they poison you or something? seriously, i'm confused.......

you don't always know how clean their kitchen is . . . and once a whole shift of nurses got some sort of intestinal problem from goodies a family brought in. the whole shift of ccu nurses -- nausea, vomiting and diarrhea. not pretty!

grace90, LPN, LVN · Oct 4, 2005

My nursing instructors never told us that the human bladder could be capable of holding 4000 cc of urine with distention up to the umbilicus- with no sensation of a problem whatsoever. "I pee just fine!" Yikes! :uhoh21:

They never told us that young male trauma or ortho patients magically are able to urinate for the first time in 8 hours when the orderly comes in waving the little red straight cath.

That the first time after you get out of nursing orientation and are the one to deal with a problem, you're first impulse will be to "tell the nurse" only to realize that "you are the nurse".

And the most important thing they didn't teach us... to go with my hunch! If I have a hunch that this patient needs something and there is something serious going on and even if the doc doesn't think so, it's my job and responsibility to argue for the patient and get what I think they need. I may just turn out to be right. :nurse:

That a "Thank You" to Dr.'s, orderlies, patient care assistants, fellow nurses, lab, respiratory, security, pharmacy, etc., goes a loooong way.

texas_lvn · Oct 5, 2005

That a "Thank You" to Dr.'s, orderlies, patient care assistants, fellow nurses, lab, respiratory, security, pharmacy, etc., goes a loooong way.

This is the truth!

LLLRN · Oct 5, 2005

That if you choose to work in home health you will be inserting a foley into an elderly woman that weighs about 90lbs, but has the strength of 10 men. The room will be about 100 degrees, you will be sweating like a pig and the only light in the room will be a 25 watt light bulb on the other side of the room. In order to insert the catheter you will be on your knees in the bed with a pen light in your mouth and your elbow will be trying to hold her knees apart...oh yeah and don't forget sterile technique because this is the last catheter you have in your car and you are about 65 miles from your office.

Also, when you go to admit your patient for service, again about 65-70 miles from the office, the patient will be dead when you get there. Unfortunately, the family will not realize that grandma is not just sleeping and so when you let them know that she has expired the will all become so hysterical that the pregnant niece will start having contractions and need an ambulance. There will not be a current DNR order and you will need to carry your own phone because the family will have a phone that does not dial out long distance and you will be in the middle of nowhere.

And last but not least, a bad day in home health will include running over a chicken.

epiphany · Oct 5, 2005

That if you choose to work in home health you will be inserting a foley into an elderly woman that weighs about 90lbs, but has the strength of 10 men. The room will be about 100 degrees, you will be sweating like a pig and the only light in the room will be a 25 watt light bulb on the other side of the room. In order to insert the catheter you will be on your knees in the bed with a pen light in your mouth and your elbow will be trying to hold her knees apart...oh yeah and don't forget sterile technique because this is the last catheter you have in your car and you are about 65 miles from your office.
Also, when you go to admit your patient for service, again about 65-70 miles from the office, the patient will be dead when you get there. Unfortunately, the family will not realize that grandma is not just sleeping and so when you let them know that she has expired the will all become so hysterical that the pregnant niece will start having contractions and need an ambulance. There will not be a current DNR order and you will need to carry your own phone because the family will have a phone that does not dial out long distance and you will be in the middle of nowhere.
And last but not least, a bad day in home health will include running over a chicken.

:rotfl:

BlueYYsRN · Oct 15, 2005

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And last but not least, a bad day in home health will include running over a chicken.

:rotfl: Poor chicken:rotfl:

Im sure it wasnt funny when it happened but OMG!:rotfl:

What have you done to deserve such karma???

TeleRN44 · Oct 15, 2005

...how to tune out the resident with forced speech so you can finish charting.

...that spraying the inside of a mask with a small amount of body spray can make your end of a removing fecal impaction just a wee bit more pleasant.

...that nothing unites a majorly dysfunctional family faster than a well meaning outsider.

...how to keep from crying yourself as you explain to your demented resident, sometimes for the 7th or 8th time that day, that his beloved wife of 60 years has passed away...and then watch him cry like he just got the news for the first time.

...how to appropriately respond when the resident, whose buttock dressing you are changing, unexpectantly breaks wet, fragrant wind right in your face.

...to stand just out of reach of the known "hitters."