Things nursing school FAILED to tell us

Here's a couple more after my night at work tonight:

How not to laugh when an escapee gets his/her wheelchair stuck in a muddy ditch across the street.

How not to laugh when a resident says "I'm going home" and another resident in a wheelchair yells "You stupid a**, you're not going anywhere! You're stuck in this hole like the rest of us"(while 3 family members walk by)!

Not to turn red when a patient who is pleasuring himself moans and says inappropriate things while his roomate is staring at him.

AND FINALLY MY FAVORITE:
They do not teach you what to do if a combative resident hits another resident in the head with her cane and says "That'll knock some sense in ya!".

ROTFL

Well I for one learned that I can handle a lot more things thrown at me at once than I ever thought possible.

I've learned that sometimes people die, no matter what we do to them.

I've learned that sometimes people live, no matter what we do to them.

I've learned to act like I know strangers that come up to me at wal-mart and say, 'Remember, you took care of my dad, 7 yrs ago!'.

I've learned that the first thing to do in an emergency is to take MY OWN PULSE.

I've learned to judge the character of my co-workers by how long in the day they wait to give MOM in relationship to MY shift.

I've learned that, many times, 'be nice' is my mantra to some coworkers.

I've learned never to say "I'm bored" or "It's slow".

I've learned that vented patients want to watch on TV basically whatever you want to watch.

I've learned that anger and denial are the first two stages of grief and to never underestimate the lengths to which some family members will go to embrace those stages.

I've learned that there are distinct advantages to being allowed to die gracefully.

I've learned that, regarding supervisors and family members, if it felt good saying it, it was probably the wrong thing to say.

I've learned that there is a direct relationship to how much of an ER co-pay you have to pay and what exactly constitutes an emergency.

I've learned that my interpersonal skills are my most often used skills.

I've learned that family members that 'are going to complain to management' have often complained about so many people that they lost credibility 10 complaints ago - and so I do the right thing and don't consider the consequences.

I've learned to say "NO, THANKS AGAIN FOR OFFERING, THOUGH" after the 3rd call begging me to come in to work when I wasn't up to coming. And this, btw, SHOULD be taught in school.

I've learned that there is a direct relationship between how often an administrator shows up in the trenches to how good an administrator they truly are. (my first DON only showed up 1 a year - to promote the Combined Federal Campaign. When I saw her on the floor, I'd comment, 'Oh, it must be CFC time again).

I've learned that managers that show up for work in uniform are better clinical allies that those that show up in suits.

I've learned to keep a jar of mentholatum jelly in my locker (a smear up each nostril blocks out all kinds of smells).

I'll try to think of more later.

~faith,
Timothy.

I've learned that family members that 'are going to complain to management' have often complained about so many people that they lost credibility 10 complaints ago - and so I do the right thing and don't consider the consequences.