The Penis requests a promotion and a raise for the following reasons.

  1. 1. Has to work hard.

    2. Has to work at great depths.

    3. Has to work upside down.

    4. Has no ventilation or air conditioned work environment.

    5. Has to work in a high humidity environment.

    6. Has to work at high temperatures.

    7. Does not get weekends and holidays off.

    8. Does not get time off after extra hours of work.

    9. Has a hazardous work environment that often causes illness.

    Management Reply.

    Request denied for the following reasons.

    1. Does not work 8 hours straight during any work period.

    2. Does not answer immediately to all requests.

    3. Co-workers often unsatisfied by job performance.

    4. After a short activity period, falls asleep.

    5. Shows no evidence of fidelity at the workplace.

    6. Works better alone than with others.

    7. Does not work at all unless pushed from behind.

    8. Does not leave the workplace clean after finishing work.

    9. Sometimes leaves work too early.
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  2. 4 Comments

  3. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    Slightly different version I've come across (no pun intended)


    The Penis

    I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

    1.. I do physical labor
    2.. I work at great depths.
    3.. I plunge head first into everything I do.
    4.. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
    5.. I work in a damp environment.
    6.. I don't get paid overtime.
    7.. I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
    8.. I work in high temperatures.

    Dear Penis,

    After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

    1.. You do not work 8 hours straight.
    2.. You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
    3.. You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
    4.. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
    5.. You do not take initiative--you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
    6.. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
    7.. You don't always observe the necessary safety regulations, such as wearing correct protective clothing.
    8.. You will retire well before you are 65.
    9.. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
    10.. And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.


    Heather
  4. by   renerian
    Heather is it your bday???????????????????????? that is a cute joke........

    renerian
  5. by   ?burntout
    :chuckle

    Happy Birthday Heather!!!! :hatparty:
  6. by   Mama Val
    :hatparty: Happy Birthday Heather :hatparty:
    Where is the line so I can give some BIRTHDAY SPANKS

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