Terms we will not admit to using

TOBP=tired of being pregnant
Hi-5 = hiv positive (thank you hippa)

WAFTAM (pronlunced woff-tam)

Waste of flipping time and money

CLWR- Call light within reach

PPP - p*** poor protoplasm

Positive Hilton Sign -- pt thinks they're at the Hilton, not a hospital.

10th Floor Transfer -- (ie dead/dying, as our facility only has nine floors).

Pillow Therapy -- Take the pillow of your most obnoxious pt and gently yet firmly hold it over their face until the oxygen deprivation buys you a few minutes of peace and quiet.

And no, I've never done the last. It's darn tempting sometimes though!

"STAT CALLBELLECTOMY" for those patients that just love pushing that little button.

WTFF--Way Too Frequent Flyer

I know we've already had ***** but a friend of mine gave it a new twist:

***** BUNDY - fouled (if you like) up beyond all recognition but unfortunately not dead yet

Tontine Treatment - (Pillow over the face)
Rapid Lead Infusion - (bullet in the head)

Yellow River--someone forget to clamp the Foley bag after draining.