Stupid things that nurses say

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I'm going to pick on myself for a moment. I have to admit that sometimes I blurt things out without truly thinking about it. Today I said something ( without thinking) to a patient that was purely stupid.

Long story short: My patient had to drink a medication that did not taste so good. She had to drink a whole cup and the only thing I could do to make it bearable was to add a little ice.

Patient: "This taste horrible"

Me: "Just imagine it is a magarita on the rocks";)

Patients' husband: " That is not a good idea, since we are both recovering alcoholics"

Me: " Oh you are right...bad idea, never mind.:o( then I proceed to use more therapeutic interventions)

Needless to say I learned my lesson, never assume anything.:nono:

I now except my award for blurting out the most stupid thing ever!

:thankya:

I was in a Pt's room (in a nursing home) and looked at some photographs of people framed on her wall.

Me: "Aw, your kids look just like you!"

Totally acceptable in any other situation; however, this facility was exclusively for former priests and nuns! :nono:

Specializes in LTC and School Health.
I was in a Pt's room (in a nursing home) and looked at some photographs of people framed on her wall.

Me: "Aw, your kids look just like you!"

Totally acceptable in any other situation; however, this facility was exclusively for former priests and nuns! :nono:

Wowsers.

I was in a Pt's room (in a nursing home) and looked at some photographs of people framed on her wall.

Me: "Aw, your kids look just like you!"

Totally acceptable in any other situation; however, this facility was exclusively for former priests and nuns! :nono:

Weeelllll, you never know. There's been several priests who got in trouble after it was revealed they had children while still in the priesthood.

Specializes in PCCN.

my stupid moment as a new grad- asking pt if they had a BM today

Duh- they had a colostomy .lol

I was a brand spanking new 19 year old CNA still training on my floor. A resident went out and had her leg amputated. She came back and the nurses and CNAs were doing the admission stuff. The CNA I was training with was getting her weight. No one could understand why she had lost all this weight at the hospital. I didn't want to be a smart @$$ so I was standing in the corner keeping my mouth shut while they reweighed her. Finally I spoke up and said, "Um, how much does a leg weigh?"

I had worried they'd be mad, but they laughed and laughed (as did the resident :lol2:). I worked there for 10 years and left after I got my RN, but the CNA I trained with was still there and would tell the story to new CNAs every once in a while lol.

my grandma had a mastectomy back in 1978 - back in those days they didn't do reconstructive surgery, so she has a "realistic" plastic boob she tucks in her bra...she was in rehab last year after breaking her leg, and they would weigh her daily, some days with the boob, some days without - turns out that thing weigh 5 lbs LOL!!!

Specializes in CCU MICU Rapid Response.

Had a pt on a bumex drip and cardio called in the am before I left for the night to see how she was progressing. Is the patient positive or negative? Was the question. My response: well, it's hard to tell because she slept most of the shift, but she seems to be in good spirits when she's awake. All I heard was silence followed by laughing. I meant intake and output he said. I was a brand new nurse-my coworkers were more than amused. Ivanna

Geeze, I say and do stupid things all the time. I have posted this story before, so some may remember...I was getting a check up at my doctors (who works with me mind you) and he was listening to my heart, shirt pulled up and all. He tells me to hold my breasts, so obviously I think he can't hear my PMI clearly so I move them around, he looks and says to hold my breasts again so I am there.....fondling myself and I say "can you not hear? Do you want them up, down, to the side?" He says "no, hold your BREATH....I thought I was going to croak right then and there.I have a cousin who has a new born at home, and she asked me if its normal for a new born to cough, and I told her "well when you smoke around him all day and night I'm not surprised he coughs" and she looked at me like I had 3 heads....I was like what? Was that rude?

Specializes in ICU.

I have found myself babysitting and talking to the child as if it were my dog.

"Leave it" my dog understands. Great command. My dog will drop anything when I say that. The child not so much. I think I even once asked him to "sit".:o Good think I caught it before I got to down, stay, and roll over.

I catch my self doing that with my patients. I do the AH AH AH!! thing with my dog because its the easiest thing to spit out and get their attention when they have something or doing something bad, also the leave it command. Sometimes when I have a patient reaching for their ETT, I will should out either of the above words, haha. Or a good firm "NO"

Specializes in Adult Critical Care, Med-Surg, Obs.

I'll be right back!

Specializes in Emergency.

This is a great thread to read on a Monday morning as I am trying to feel enthusiastic!

Specializes in IMCU.
I'll be right back!

Seriously...this wins.

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Specializes in Critical Care, Capacity/Bed Management.

Had a patient who was extubated and had a pretty hectic day but was doing fine, as I was saying good-bye I blurted out "rest in peace tonight" :no: wife and husband just starred. I turned bright red and quickly tried to fix my mistake... I should add he did not rest in peace that night and was discharged from the hospital

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