Stupid things said by your non-nurse significant other

Nurses Humor

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This thread is started in honor of my darling husband, who told me this morning that he almost woke me early because he had a bowel obstruction.

I said, "A bowel obstruction? Really? Tell me more about it, honey."

He said, "Well, I had a hard time moving my bowels this morning. It took a long time and when I was done, I had this huge, hard stool, one of the biggest I've ever seen!"

As if that was something I'd be hopping right outta bed to see! I told him, "Honey, if you had a bowel obstruction, you'd be headed in for surgery. You'd be in pain. You wouldn't have just had the most humongous stool of your life. You didn't have an obstruction. You didn't even have an impaction, which I would NOT have removed for you, no matter how much I love you. You were constipated. In other words, you were simply full of ****. BTW, lay off the cheese!" The love of my life can eat a half pound of cheese in one sitting and wonders why he gets constipated! speechless-smiley-040.gif

Of course he's not a nurse! :devil:

Anyone else have stories about stupid, funny, silly things said by their dear non-nurse significant others, friends, family members? Please share! I can't be the only one!

I hate when that happens. lol

Specializes in Trauma, ER, ICU, CCU, PACU, GI, Cardiology, OR.

Interesting~

Specializes in ICU, telemetry, LTAC.

My hubby has heard all manner of stories involving intense, drawn-out, hideousness and suffering. We've had the talk about end of life issues a number of times. I think we are on the same page. No problem. Well he has a weakness for watching House and sometimes I will watch, others I give up in disgust. This one time he turns to me and says, seriously, "well what could be worse than death?"

Now we have the talk on a monthly basis. Just to make sure he doesn't suddenly forget.

One of my brothers was having back pain one day and said to me "I think I have a cold in my back". After laughing hysterically, I assured him that there was no such thing. Then I said that "if you have a cold in your back is that why you've been sneezing out of your butt so much?". :chuckle:lol2:

THIS IS HILARIOUS thanks for sharing

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