Stupid Nurse Trick... Don't try this at home... or work!

One night last week, I should have listened to a patient when he insisted I take his privacy curtain down, which was behind me. He had been spitting up mucus and I didn't know he could spit it quite that far. That is until I stuck my butt in it because it was all over the curtain.

A few nights ago, I was bending down to get an oxygen tank fronm under a stretcher. I stood up too fast, hitting my head on the Television set near the bed, causing me to duck---Right into the Oxygen bottle!!!! I had a small nick near my nose (nothing that would require suturing) and was teased the rest of the night by my patient, his spouse, and the other nurse in the room.

Now that's not something I recall hearing in nursing school. I've noticed that when sitting/standing still for long periods I feel very lightheaded, never pass out, but just strange because I also feel the need to get up and *do* something despite the fact that doing so gives me some mild vertigo. After getting up and doing things for a bit I'm fine. I've never had a doc mention MVP to me though. That made tests in nursing school very difficult, after a short while of testing, I had such difficulty concentrating and could read a question a dozen times and still not know what I was reading. I eventually made it through the tests and when I was able to get up and leave, I felt much better and my energy returned as well as concentration and the feeling of having blood flow in my brain again LOL I've always had orhtostatic hypotension upon rising and recently had a doc mention in surgery one of his pts c/o 'floaters' in her vision during OH episodes and he was laughing at the idea cuz he'd had OH himself and *never* has he seen floaters. I piped up and said that I've always had floaters with OH and didn't realize some did not. I guess we'd worked together long enough that he considered my statement a valid one because he took me seriously and decided she might not be off her rocker after all.

I was wearing new Danskos yesterday and just lost control of my left ankle. Fortunately I did not fall on my head, but the stumble-and-catch dance was certainly not missed by my pt or his wife. They expressed concern about the wet floor. I had to tell them that the floor is fine, it was a faulty ankle.

Even worse was a few months ago I had a really easy pt load one day, and decided to be nice and help out one of the new residents with a pelvic exam, since the nurse for that room was swamped. I got the plastic speculum, the light, the KY, everything all set up. MD comes it, pt assumes position, light does not work. I sprint down the hall and fetch another light, which does not work. I go back for still another light, which flickered on when I tested it prior to running it all the way down the hall. MD switched it on, it worked for about 4 seconds, and the bulb burnt out. So I volunteered to go find a lamp, brought it back, plugged it in, does not work. By this time eveyone in the room is looking at me as though I have recently escaped from an asylum. I ran out AGAIN, got another lamp, pre-tested it, and thank God it worked. I wheeled it into the room, where the poor pt has remained in stirrups all this time, and announced confidently that THIS LAMP DEFINITELY WORKS. And it did. Unfortunately, when I pulled out the first lamp, I failed to notice that the resident had angled the arm over her head in such a way that when I pulled it out of the room, the globe of the lamp just brained her right upside her right temple. That was the last day I ever saw that resident...

We have a very small triage room that 99% of the time is occupied only by a tech that occasionally assists the 2 triage nurses by running EKDs, drawing blood, etc. So I was in the waiting room waiting for a particularly slow-moving patient to cross the room, and I was right outside that door. When I saw it opening, I thought I'd swoop into the doorway and startle the tech. So I did, getting right into her face and saying loudly, "BOO!" Well, of course it was not her. I stammered and apologized and stated that I had no idea what came over me, but I obviously thought a co-worker was going to come out of there. The pt was very sweet, and even said, "Oh, one of my favorite students does that to me all the time." So I politely asked what grade she taught, and she further shamed me by saying proudly, "Special Ed".

Speaking of stethoscopes... when I was in nursing school, one of my nursing instructors told me that she was strangled by her own stethoscope by one of her patients. The patient was a older woman, with the appearance of a cute, little old grandmother. She asked my teacher to come closer, and closer, and closer to her. My teacher had her stethoscope hanging around her neck... The patient grabbed each end of the stethoscope with her hands, crossed the tubing, and pulled as hard as she could in opposite directions. My nursing instructor survived without punching her patient or anything. But wow!! Better think carefully before hanging your stethoscope around your neck!!!!!

My friend May and I had the giggles one day after work when we went to the parking office. There were these empty 5-gallon water jugs outside of the office that she tripped on. The first one was bad enough, but everytime she tried to put it back she kicked it further, then the next one went over and so on and so on. So of coarse we were laughing and all of these people in line were staring at us. So I got in line and she went to sit down. I decided I was hot so I took my coat off, and told her to catch it as I wadded it up in a ball. As I threw it to her, I hit this chicks back pack which knocked her sideways. She gave me the nastiest look, and I said I was sory but I thin the fact that May and I were laughing so hard made her more angry. It was after the day shift, and I understand most people were grumpy from a long day, but the whole thing was too funny. But at least it made the parking guy smile!

Many moons ago I was an LPN student doing a postpartum clinic rotation.

The resident was doing a pelvic exam. He held out his gloved hand so I could squirt some KY out of the tube onto his fingers.

Well, the last person to use it had not closed the tube tightly. Dried KY is like plastic.

He's waiting, the patient with her feet up in the stirrups and her bottom hanging off the table is waiting. I'm squeezing.

No KY. Squeeze harder. No KY. Squeeze even harder.

SPLAT!!!

The large glob of KY is on the resident's shoe.


Ooops. Sorry!!

Now, of course, it's funny.

Im in a patients room to flush the IV. Somehow when i go to draw up the flush i completly miss the bottle and stab my self in palm of my hand. So Im standing there in shock with the syringe dangling from my hand just staring at it.. The patient starts screaming - Pull it out Pull it out!! Well i couldnt pull it out - I was just standing there staring at it until finally the patients son walks over and jerks the needle out of my hand.. Needless to say the family laughed histerically every time i walked into the room.. Im just glad it was an unused needle!!


The very next day i had drawn up some insulin and for some reason stuck it in my pocket.. Well apparently the cap came off the needle while in my pocket and when i reached in to grab it i injected 5 units of humalog into my thumb.. I ran straight to the kitchen for some juice and peanut butter!!

I pull down the large overhanging lights in our ER rooms so I have extra light when putting in a female foley. Several times someone has asked me a question and I've turned my head and slammed it right up against the light.
I also have accidentally squirted myself in the eye with a normal saline flush (before it came in contact with the pt) because I couldn't see where the air bubble was.

I carried an ice pack and an IV bag into a patient room. Intending to hand her the ice pack so she could place it on her abdomen herself, I started to hand her the IV bag instead. We both had a good laugh about it. I wonder what would have happened if I had tried to spike and hang the ice pack.