Statistics - Britain

  1. 1. Only in Britain.....can a pizza get to your house faster than an
    ambulance.
    2. Only in Britain.....do supermarkets make sick people walk all the
    way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while
    healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
    3. Only in Britain.....do people order double cheeseburgers, large
    fries and a DIET coke.
    4. Only in Britain.....do banks leave both doors open and chain the
    pens to the counters.
    5. Only in Britain......do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on
    the drive and put our junk and cheap lawn mowers in the garage.
    6. Only in Britain......do we buy hot dogs in packs of ten and buns in
    packs of eight.
    7. Only in Britain......do we use answering machines to screen calls
    and then have call waiting so we don't miss a call from someone we
    didn't want to talk to in the first place.
    8. Only in Britain......are there handicap parking places in front of
    the skating rink.
    9. Three Brits die each year testing if a 9V battery works on their
    tongue.
    10. 142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new
    shirts.
    11. 58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
    screwdrivers.
    12. 31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree
    while the fairy lights were plugged in.
    13. 19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas
    decorations were chocolate.
    14. British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker-
    pulling accidents.
    15. 101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled
    out of the soles of their feet.
    16. 18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a
    lit cigarette in their mouth.
    17. A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years
    after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
    18. 5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of
    control Scalextric model cars.
    19. In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skulls whilst throwing up into
    the toilet.
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  2. 19 Comments

  3. by   Furball
    Brits and Americans seem to have a lot in common lol
  4. by   CATHYW
    We're a whole lot alike; especially #3. That's me!
  5. by   ClariceS
    Other than #18, you were describing a lot of people on this side of the pond. FUNNY!
  6. by   Whisper
    When I worked in MacDonalds I bit my tounge on several occasions not to laugh at a customer who would have a diet drink with their supersize meal becasue they were on a diet

    I really hope it is not just the British who are like this, I may have to change my nationality

    But then I sometimes have enough trouble speaking English English, without trying to speak American English.

    What about this for number 20:
    Only in Britain do we learn to shout louder rather than a forreign language.

  7. by   CATHYW
    we've gotcha covered there, too! I work in an area where a large number of Hispanics live. Folks here seemed to think that if their words couldn't be understood, apparently their tone of voice could, especially if they cranked it up a few decibels!

    You know, I think the people at McDonald's (and elsewhere) that order their Supersize meals with a Diet drink are probably on that diet-you know, the one that says you can eat crumbled Oreos because the calories leaked out? HA!

    Actually, I drink Diet Coke because I like it. Regular Coke makes me thirsty, plus I don't like the taste nearly as well. I used to drink Tab, but you can hardly find that anymore.
  8. by   Whisper
    I am also guilty of drinking Diet Coke with MacDonalds, I gave up drinking regular coke about 4-5 years ago. When off my friends was diagnosed as IDDM, I gave up sugary drinks with her, except for when she needs them

    I like the diet where you can eat donuts because all the caories have fallen out of the middle!

    And abck to the forreign lanaguage point... when I was in France I heard an English man go up to the ice cream stand and calmly ask :
    'Je voudrais un Ice cream'
    I don't think he will ever live that one down, as I know for a fact his daughters won't let him

    But then again, he is British and guilty of the cardinal sin of wearing white socks, sandals shorts, knotted hankerchief on head, with the added pink beer belly. Will that fashion trend catch on in the states???
  9. by   semstr
    Can one of you tell me, why a lot of Brits (especially the ones with the red hair and milkywhite skin) go to Greece in summer,
    lay down in the sun on their 1 day, without suncream and "parasol", get a sunburn so terribly you'll not see them anymore during the day, but only in the evening at the bar? (I watched this for 3 weeks last year, the hotel next to ours was british. This was on Rhodes)

    Is this the famous British humor?


    Take care, Renee
  10. by   Furball
    Need advice from all the Brits on this BB

    Just read the article on "roundabouts" on the MSNBC website. Apparently Americans tend to crash when driving in circles since we're used to just straight lines with red lights or stop signs to regulate traffic. Since my town is considering constructing one of these things I need advice on how to drive thru them properly.

    I guess I just found a difference between Brits and Americans!


    Brits can drive......
  11. by   Whisper
    Roundabouts are fun! as long as every one knows what they are doing, I watched a TV programme where they showed Americans trying to drive round roundabouts, and people were going around the wrong way. No disrespect to American's but I could not belive it, You guys would laugh if you Saw my face at the thought of havoing to drive on a roadw ith more than three lanes in each direction
    You do drive on the right handside of the road don't you in America ? If not this will all be wrong.
    But as you approach a roundabout, you slow down and give way two traffic allready approaching from the left. i.e. those allreaay on the round about, and you indicate right for the first exit, and left for the last exit, for straight on you don't start signalling till after the first turn, then you signal right, and for left you keep indicating left until your exit appoaches and then you signal right.

    Traffic light controlled roundabouts are easier to drive round You should go somewhere in Europe to practise, France has a lot of roundabouts, in the cities

    And personally I don't think the Brits are better drivers, we just don't have as many roads, or sue as much,

    And as for Greece, I don't know why people would willingly do that too themselves, but it is still seen by a lot of people as a sign of having a good holiday I spend most of my holidays hiding from the sun, becasue I burn realy badly in the summer in England! So I have to be real careful when I go somewhere they get actual sun light
  12. by   JW-HLC
    I guess this sunburn thing is why the Jamaicans say "Lobsters on the beach" when there are British sunbathers!

    The "Yorkshire" explanation of roundabouts reminds me of the famous schoolboy explanation of the game of cricket:-

    "You have two sides, one out on the field and the other in. Each man in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes out till he's out. When the side that's in is all out, the side that's been out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get out the one that's coming in. Sometimes you get men still in and not out when the side that is in is finally out. When both sides have been in and out, including those who are in and not out, that's the end of the game."
  13. by   Whisper
    the scary thing is that I understood that explination of cricket!!!
  14. by   CATHYW
    But-the explanation of the roundabout threw me for a loop!
    We, in the South, have "squares" where an historic courthouse is usually found. Traffic comes into the square from 4 directions, and also may circle the square. You should see people unfamiliar with this try to decide when to "jump in!"

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Statistics - Britain