So you're having stress?

  1. EXPRESSIONS FOR WOMEN EXPERIENCING HIGH STRESS

    1. You - Off my planet.
    2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
    3. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
    4. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
    5. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...?
    6. I'm not crazy; I've just been in a very bad mood--for 30 years.
    7. Allow me to introduce my selves.
    8. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
    9. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
    10. I'm just working here until a good fast-food job opens up.
    11. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
    12. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you weren't asleep.
    13. I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
    14. How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
    15. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
    16. You say I'm a witch - like it's a bad thing.
    17. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?
    18. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
    19. Chaos, panic and disorder - my work is done here.
    20. Earth is full. Go home.
    21. Is it time for your medication or mine?
    22. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
    23. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
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  2. 4 Comments

  3. by   NurseDennie
    When you're feeling especially stressed by your job, here's the cure.

    On the way home from work, pick up and Johnson & Johnson's RECTAL thermometer.

    When you get home, change into your most comfortable clothes. Have a nice snack and the beverage of your choice.

    Bring the box with the rectal thermometer with you to your bedroom or to your most comfortable recliner chair. Assume the most comfortable position you can. Cover up warmly or have a light breeze to keep you cool, whichever is appropriate.

    Open the rectal thermometer box, take out the page of instructions that comes in it, and read the part that says: "Every Johnson & Johnson thermometer is personally tested."

    Enjoy the fact that you don't have THAT job.

    Love

    Dennie
  4. by   GPatty
    I need ALL of these printed up on T-shirts! I have a feeling one would be worn every day! LOL
  5. by   tattooednursie
    I need some scrubs that sat those on them, especially, How many times do I have to flush before you go away? I will use that at work tonight.
  6. by   micro
    Youda,

    you rock.......thx for the smiles ........

    and now let me introduce you to myselves!!!!!!!!!

    micro

    I also love the one.......about the twins.......
    my twist on this one....

    I can't remember if I am the evil or good twin today. But I can change. (the gemini in me)

    Is it time for my medication or yours........I have used this one. It gets not always a good response.......hehehehehehehe

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