Nurses Humor
Published Mar 20, 2012
Rule is: One sentence. Random thought. Silly is great. Funny would rock. If you're going to be judgmental, GO TO ANOTHER THREAD! FUN ONLY HERE!
Fomite is my new favorite word because it sounds like a sandwich spread.
Got CPR?
12 Posts
I wrote SOB (diagnosis) on dry eraser board in my patients room, "I am not a Son of a Bit*h!" yelled my patient. Ohhhh my :rotfl:
dawniepoo
223 Posts
Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not after you.
RNsRWe, ASN, RN
3 Articles; 10,428 Posts
In the ER 9 times out of 10 when I asked the patient what brought them in their response starts with "Well uh whut had happen is ..."[/quote']LOL....but don't forget the sentence that was said just BEFORE the accident: "Hey, Bob, betcha think I can't do THIS....!" or "Hey, watch me!"Um, no Dude, you obviously couldn't. And he shouldn't.LOL...
LOL....but don't forget the sentence that was said just BEFORE the accident: "Hey, Bob, betcha think I can't do THIS....!" or "Hey, watch me!"
Um, no Dude, you obviously couldn't. And he shouldn't.
LOL...
I have used this one for years:
(wishing I could say it out loud to a patient)
That big blue and white "H" out front doesn't stand for Hilton OR Hotel!
Aurora77
861 Posts
You had a knee replacement, not a hand replacement; so no, I will not wipe your butt for you.:icon_roll
Also: If you don't want to be woken up to have vitals taken, assessments done, labs drawn, and post op meds administered, maybe you shouldn't have had elective surgery. Just sayin'. Go ahead and fill out that survey.
I have used this one for years:(wishing I could say it out loud to a patient)That big blue and white "H" out front doesn't stand for Hilton OR Hotel!
We can see a Hilton from our hospital, maybe I should start offering to take them over there.
rn500
83 Posts
I'm sorry you are in 4 point leather restraints sir, but I am not going to scratch your balls for you.
ClearBlueOctoberSky
370 Posts
I had one resident tell me that I couldn't check her blood sugar because I asked..."You're supposed to sneak up and just do it."
Me: "And Ms. LOL, you aren't going to hit me when I do that?"
LOL: "No, I don't hit people."
uh, huh.
floridanurse1983
169 Posts
Squirting your co-worker with NS flush is amusing on a slow night. Having said co-worker shoot KY jelly more than 10 feet into your thick, curly, long hair is not as much fun.
At least it was a coworker and at least it was only the KY
1RNfluovacuckoonest
1 Post
Do you have any grey poop-on?
Ruby Vee, BSN
17 Articles; 14,031 Posts
i'm sorry you are in 4 point leather restraints sir, but i am not going to scratch your balls for you.
and i don't care that it's your fantasy to be tied up by a busty blonde and "taken advantage of", either.
RanieRN, MSN, RN
91 Posts
"Just lift and scrub"
(thanks wooh; this might be my phrase of the day at work tonight )