Signs of menopause

1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
2. Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he's using you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than saying you are NOT amused...you shoot him.
3. You have to write post-it notes with your kdis names on them.
4. The Phenobarb dose that wiped out the Heavens Gate Cult gives you four hours of decent rest.
5. You change your underwear after every sneeze.
6. You're on so much estrogen that you take your Brownie troop on a field trip to Chippendales.