Share your funniest patient stories...

  1. 6
    We all have lots of stories to tell. I thought it would be fun if we shared a few of our funniest patient stories with each other.

    I keep remembering to a particular incident a few years back. It wasn't even my patient. I was heading down the hallway on the CCU unit in which I worked. I was minding my own business, heading down the hallway and I just happened to glance into a patient room... I couldn't believe what I saw... An older gentleman, who clearly was having some post-op dementia after open heart surgery.... he was sitting up in the middle of his bed and with knees bent and feet braced at the bedrail for extra support.... With both hands...HE WAS PULLING on all of his CHEST TUBES with ALL OF HIS MIGHT!!! Needless to say, I sprang into action along with all the surrounding nursing staff. It took security along with all of us to restrain this man so he wouldn't hurt himself. Though it wasn't funny at the time....I can't get this picture out of my mind and find it amusing to remember.

    What's your story? :chuckle

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  2. 911 Comments...

  3. 5
    My first job as a CNA, I worked at a Nursing home for Veterans...some of then were mentally ill from post traumatic stress which is understandable if you think of what they could have experienced..anyway I was told never to get on an elevator alone with one of them because of a possibility for violence...well wouldn't you know ,I wasn't paying much attention one nite and went to get on the elevator and right behind me slips in one of the scariest old patients at the Home..His hair was cropped short and he had the look of "CRAZY" when the doors to the elevator shut and I turned around to see him grinning @ me from ear to ear I thought I'd lose my cookies!He came up close to be looked me dead in the eyes and with a great big smile ,while rubbing his head ,he told me I had 30 schock treatments and they hav'nt helped..well I thought I was going to pass out ..but I held it together till those doors opened and I bolted for saftey!


    Quote from trvlnRN
    We all have lots of stories to tell. I thought it would be fun if we shared a few of our funniest patient stories with each other.

    I keep remembering to a particular incident a few years back. It wasn't even my patient. I was heading down the hallway on the CCU unit in which I worked. I was minding my own business, heading down the hallway and I just happened to glance into a patient room... I couldn't believe what I saw... An older gentleman, who clearly was having some post-op dementia after open heart surgery.... he was sitting up in the middle of his bed and with knees bent and feet braced at the bedrail for extra support.... With both hands...HE WAS PULLING on all of his CHEST TUBES with ALL OF HIS MIGHT!!! Needless to say, I sprang into action along with all the surrounding nursing staff. It took security along with all of us to restrain this man so he wouldn't hurt himself. Though it wasn't funny at the time....I can't get this picture out of my mind and find it amusing to remember.

    What's your story? :chuckle
  4. 2
    During my first day of orientation on a Assisted Living Floor:

    Myself and my preceptor where in the nursing office going over my checklist
    When a Resident came to the door and kept peeking in, the preceptor says oh that's just Ms. So and So she is well oriented and a very nice lady. On two more occassions she came to the door and just peeked in, then she said Nurse, Nurse please help....I stood up and hurried over to her....she continued I am having the hardest time....your the new nurse....please help me.....I said to her what is it? how can I help you are you hurt? Child No.....I can't remember the old actress that her favorite line was......"come and see me sometime" I said to her...the line is "hey Big boy...come up and see me sometime" She said "YES, YES....her eyes lit up......Then I said her, the actress' name is Mae West....O my God she screamed your are right.....How smart you are you are going to do fine here.......oh yes you will do just fine.....As she hugged me .....she turned with her walker......singing down the hall....

    "Big Boy come up and see me sometime.....LOL


    Quote from trvlnRN
    We all have lots of stories to tell. I thought it would be fun if we shared a few of our funniest patient stories with each other.

    I keep remembering to a particular incident a few years back. It wasn't even my patient. I was heading down the hallway on the CCU unit in which I worked. I was minding my own business, heading down the hallway and I just happened to glance into a patient room... I couldn't believe what I saw... An older gentleman, who clearly was having some post-op dementia after open heart surgery.... he was sitting up in the middle of his bed and with knees bent and feet braced at the bedrail for extra support.... With both hands...HE WAS PULLING on all of his CHEST TUBES with ALL OF HIS MIGHT!!! Needless to say, I sprang into action along with all the surrounding nursing staff. It took security along with all of us to restrain this man so he wouldn't hurt himself. Though it wasn't funny at the time....I can't get this picture out of my mind and find it amusing to remember.

    What's your story? :chuckle
    Last edit by fuerza757 on Feb 7, '05
    Pangea Reunited and maelstrom143 like this.
  5. 26
    remember geriatric chairs? we used to posey our wanderers into a geri chair for the day. only ours didn't have brakes, and one old guy named juan used to be able to push himself around the unit with his tippy toes. backward. we'd put him out by the nurse's station on busy days, and everyone would sort of keep an eye on him -- even the house staff who all knew him well.

    one particularly busy day, there were two codes going on at once and everyone was involved with one or the other of them. juan scooted himself off the unit in his geri chair, and was found at the doorway to the firestairs trying to get the door open. the nursing supervisor brought him back. the next time, a patient's family member went to get the unit secretary, who pulled an na out of a code to bring juan back. the third time, a harvard medical student encountered the nice old man posey'd into a geri chair trying to open the door to the stairs. i'm sure he thought he was being helpful when he opened the door for the juan and held it for him.

    the next day when i came back to work, juan was poseyd in a geri chair wearing a cast over his entire torso and both shoulders. the toes still worked fine, though. i was determined not to have a repeat accident on my shift, so the na and i poseyed juan into the chair, and tied the chair to the sink in his room. the first sign that that may not have been a wise choice was when there was a loud crash followed by the sounds of gushing water and a flood pouring out of juan's room. by the time i got there, juan was propelling himself backward out of his room, dragging the sink. the housekeepers were not amused. nor were the plumbers!

    after that, we tied the chair to the handrail in the halls -- you know -- the ones patients are supposed to hang on to as they ambulate in the halls. another poor decision. the rail wasn't attached to anything but dry wall . . . and following another loud crash (and some excited shouting) we found juan propelling himself down the hall dragging the railing and a large chunk of dry wall. the carpenters were not amused. nor was the couple in the room on the other side of the dry wall . . . they were engaging in some long-postponed marital relations when juan's removing a chunk of drywall exposed them to the entire unit!

    sadly, juan's trip down the stairs backward ultimately caused his demise. he got a pressure sore under his cast, became septic, went into septic shock and arrested. we couldn't saw him out of the cast fast enough to start cpr in a timely fashion . . .
  6. 5
    Quote from ruby vee
    remember geriatric chairs? we used to posey our wanderers into a geri chair for the day. only ours didn't have brakes, and one old guy named juan used to be able to push himself around the unit with his tippy toes. backward. we'd put him out by the nurse's station on busy days, and everyone would sort of keep an eye on him -- even the house staff who all knew him well.

    one particularly busy day, there were two codes going on at once and everyone was involved with one or the other of them. juan scooted himself off the unit in his geri chair, and was found at the doorway to the firestairs trying to get the door open. the nursing supervisor brought him back. the next time, a patient's family member went to get the unit secretary, who pulled an na out of a code to bring juan back. the third time, a harvard medical student encountered the nice old man posey'd into a geri chair trying to open the door to the stairs. i'm sure he thought he was being helpful when he opened the door for the juan and held it for him.

    the next day when i came back to work, juan was poseyd in a geri chair wearing a cast over his entire torso and both shoulders. the toes still worked fine, though. i was determined not to have a repeat accident on my shift, so the na and i poseyed juan into the chair, and tied the chair to the sink in his room. the first sign that that may not have been a wise choice was when there was a loud crash followed by the sounds of gushing water and a flood pouring out of juan's room. by the time i got there, juan was propelling himself backward out of his room, dragging the sink. the housekeepers were not amused. nor were the plumbers!

    after that, we tied the chair to the handrail in the halls -- you know -- the ones patients are supposed to hang on to as they ambulate in the halls. another poor decision. the rail wasn't attached to anything but dry wall . . . and following another loud crash (and some excited shouting) we found juan propelling himself down the hall dragging the railing and a large chunk of dry wall. the carpenters were not amused. nor was the couple in the room on the other side of the dry wall . . . they were engaging in some long-postponed marital relations when juan's removing a chunk of drywall exposed them to the entire unit!

    sadly, juan's trip down the stairs backward ultimately caused his demise. he got a pressure sore under his cast, became septic, went into septic shock and arrested. we couldn't saw him out of the cast fast enough to start cpr in a timely fashion . . .
    is this story for real?
    jessmurph, lina.561, StorminOk268, and 2 others like this.
  7. 4
    Oh--so many over the years. My favorite goes way back. I was working in NH as Nursing Assistant then. We all smoked on unit in between rounds on nite shift. (yeah, yeah we really did). We were sitting in w/c with ashtray in front of us when "Mary" comes out of her room and asks for a cigarette. This in itself wasn't funny unless you knew this women. She was about 4ft8in. She weighed 70lbs. She was a retired nurse from the psych center. and she was the most agitated, mean, scary, women you could ever know. She used to growl at us with her rotten teeth bared and try to bite anyone who walked by.

    On this nite she climbed out of her restraints (back then we tied everyone down like dogs) and was as lucid as could be as she sat smoking with us and talking about her patients. She got up--went back to bed as quiet as can be and proceded to cause a 3cm scratch on one of the aides arms in the morning.
  8. 4
    I had the cutest couple..married 40+ years that were asking me adivice about the husband's recurrent bouts with FLEA-BITE-US! It was the hardest thing to keep a straight face!
  9. 0
    sadly it's real, but it's also about 27 years old!

    Quote from chad_ky_srna
    is this story for real?
  10. 2
    Quote from ruby vee
    remember geriatric chairs? we used to posey our wanderers into a geri chair for the day. only ours didn't have brakes, and one old guy named juan used to be able to push himself around the unit with his tippy toes. backward. we'd put him out by the nurse's station on busy days, and everyone would sort of keep an eye on him -- even the house staff who all knew him well.

    one particularly busy day, there were two codes going on at once and everyone was involved with one or the other of them. juan scooted himself off the unit in his geri chair, and was found at the doorway to the firestairs trying to get the door open. the nursing supervisor brought him back. the next time, a patient's family member went to get the unit secretary, who pulled an na out of a code to bring juan back. the third time, a harvard medical student encountered the nice old man posey'd into a geri chair trying to open the door to the stairs. i'm sure he thought he was being helpful when he opened the door for the juan and held it for him.

    the next day when i came back to work, juan was poseyd in a geri chair wearing a cast over his entire torso and both shoulders. the toes still worked fine, though. i was determined not to have a repeat accident on my shift, so the na and i poseyed juan into the chair, and tied the chair to the sink in his room. the first sign that that may not have been a wise choice was when there was a loud crash followed by the sounds of gushing water and a flood pouring out of juan's room. by the time i got there, juan was propelling himself backward out of his room, dragging the sink. the housekeepers were not amused. nor were the plumbers!

    after that, we tied the chair to the handrail in the halls -- you know -- the ones patients are supposed to hang on to as they ambulate in the halls. another poor decision. the rail wasn't attached to anything but dry wall . . . and following another loud crash (and some excited shouting) we found juan propelling himself down the hall dragging the railing and a large chunk of dry wall. the carpenters were not amused. nor was the couple in the room on the other side of the dry wall . . . they were engaging in some long-postponed marital relations when juan's removing a chunk of drywall exposed them to the entire unit!

    sadly, juan's trip down the stairs backward ultimately caused his demise. he got a pressure sore under his cast, became septic, went into septic shock and arrested. we couldn't saw him out of the cast fast enough to start cpr in a timely fashion . . .
    the story of juan is so funny i read it to my husband and we both got a good laugh out of it. thanks for sharing!!!
    maelstrom143 and bookworm78910 like this.
  11. 14
    Working in OB, I see it all. Some of the best stories stem from body ornamentation. Tattoo's and piercings are as creative as their owners.

    The time had come for one of my pt.'s to have a vag. exam. After first talking through the procedure with her; I pulled back the covers. As the patient spread her legs, the little rodent footprints tatooed on both inner thighs...leading up to her perineum...were unavoidable. The patient willing said with a grin on her face..."Yup, that's my rat trap!"
    emjay:), ARTPOPIST, maelstrom143, and 11 others like this.


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