Share your funniest patient stories... - page 89

by trvlnRN

511,538 Unique Views | 888 Comments

:lol2: We all have lots of stories to tell. I thought it would be fun if we shared a few of our funniest patient stories with each other. I keep remembering to a particular incident a few years back. It wasn't even my... Read More


  1. 3
    This is the shortest story ever.

    I asked a confused elderly man who the president is. Without taking his eyes off the TV he says "ESPN."

    I don't know why but this made me laugh so hard I had to go sit down. He he he see it still makes me laugh
  2. 4
    When I worked in Labor and Delivery I was talking to a patient after she had experienced a pretty rough labor. I was discussing post-delivery care with her and started education about birth control after she left the hospital. She quickly said..."Oh yeah! I already know what kind I want to use! Can you get my doctor to write me a prescription for some of that Abstinence? He said that was the best one!" Needless to say, I had to take a moment to gain composure before I articulated a response...

    Abstinence...its the best form of birth control!
    MECO28, Leonca, Glycerine82, and 1 other like this.
  3. 0
    Quote from sweetdreameRN
    When I worked in Labor and Delivery I was talking to a patient after she had experienced a pretty rough labor. I was discussing post-delivery care with her and started education about birth control after she left the hospital. She quickly said..."Oh yeah! I already know what kind I want to use! Can you get my doctor to write me a prescription for some of that Abstinence? He said that was the best one!" Needless to say, I had to take a moment to gain composure before I articulated a response...

    Abstinence...its the best form of birth control!
    It scares me that people like that have babies!!!!
  4. 1
    Quote from sweetdreameRN
    When I worked in Labor and Delivery I was talking to a patient after she had experienced a pretty rough labor. I was discussing post-delivery care with her and started education about birth control after she left the hospital. She quickly said..."Oh yeah! I already know what kind I want to use! Can you get my doctor to write me a prescription for some of that Abstinence? He said that was the best one!" Needless to say, I had to take a moment to gain composure before I articulated a response...

    Abstinence...its the best form of birth control!
    I'm not a nurse yet, pre-nursing student, but this story reminded me of when my sister-in-law was pregnant, with BABY # 2, and was having some aches and pains. I and my other sister-in-law was telling her to go relax in a warm bath and she says "but my baby may drown". LOL. True story.

    Sent from my iPhone using allnurses.com
    Franemtnurse likes this.
  5. 0
    Quote from Glycerine82

    It scares me that people like that have babies!!!!
    Scares the h*ll out of me too.

    Sent from my iPhone using allnurses.com
  6. 0
    Quote from NURSEK84
    My mom is also an RN in the ER at a well known hospital in Los Angeles, one day a female rushes into the ER claiming that she is about to go into labor. She said she is having twins, and the reason she came to this hospital was because she was in labor at another hospital in the past and had triplets and one of them died so they didn't allow her to go back there (WHAT?!) LOL.

    As if that wasn't a weird and suspicious story already...Without wasting time for an assessment, they wheel her off to L and D. They admit this lady in L/D, put an ID band on her and made a name plate, and once they start doing an assessment (finally)...they realized she wasn't pregnant at all and was actually a sixty-something year old psych patient!!! :chuckle So they call down to ER and tell them their findings and asked why no one actually looked at the patient...but it was all good...both departments had a good laugh that day!
    I know a woman with schizoaffective disorder who periodically "goes into labor." She has "contractions" and claims her water broke smelling strangely like urine. The funny part is that the staff at her residence actually fell for it.

    She has gained a lot of weight particularly in the stomach. She also is not very cognizant of cause and effect. The staff was wondering whether she might actually be pregnant and nobody realized.

    It was only when the manager told the staff that this woman just had her period that they realized it was not real!

    Obviously, they don't have any healthcare or even much psych training so to them it could be possible that someone just randomly goes into labor.
  7. 0
    One of my favorite patient stories was the time I almost scared a patient and myself to death.

    The vet hospital where I used to work runs a rescue for animals pulled from shelters or surrendered by owners. The patient was an 8 year old female rescue cat who had some kind of chronic kidney issue that kept her perpetually underweight. She was also quite timid and didn't like being startled.

    We had her in the surgical room where it was quieter, in a cage set over two other rows of cages. You need a little step-ladder to reach it. I was on the Sunday morning shift, going in to walk, feed, clean, medicate ect. while the hospital was closed. I get "Scaredy-Cat's" prescription renal canned food ready and go to open the cage door. The door promptly falls off its hinges. Big heavy piece of metal. BANG! it goes.

    Scaredy-Cat flies past my shoulder and since I am hypersensitive to loud noises I nearly jump out of my skin. Luckily she lands on her feet, but then she goes tearing out of the room. I think, "Oh great, there are only 80 bazillion places in this building where a freaked out cat can hide." I close some doors and begin searching rooms nearest to surgery. Luckily I find her in the bathroom down the hall, hiding in a bathtub behind a closed shower curtain. I scoop up the poor, poofed up thing and move her to an undamaged cage.

    I was so glad no one was around to see that happen. The door lay propped against the cages for weeks until we could find someone who knew how to get the darn thing back on.
  8. 2
    The other day I was getting a pizza at the place next door to the nursing home I used to work at when I notice one of the residents I used to care for sitting at one of the tables. I go over and greet her and give her a big hug when one of the employees frantically grabbed me asking how I knew her. Thats when I realized neither of her daughters or granddaughters were with her..And she wasn't wearing shoes..Oh boy. Apparently she walked into the pizza place by herself and caused a scene when they wouldn't accept her bingo chips as a form of payment. The owners had already called the cops...I bought her a slice of pizza and brought her back to the nursing home. Worst part of the story is none of the employees had even realized she was missing.....Sneaky, sneaky woman. When I worked there she would put a bunch of pillows under her fitted sheet so when she got out of bed her bed alarm wouldn't go off.
  9. 4
    One night at the nursing home I guess I looked more tired than usual, one of the residents loudly goes "Ohhh Ella, you're awfully sleepy today....What, were you up late last night making mad love to your boyfriend?!" and starts cackling..Stops suddenly and goes "What does that mean anyways...making mad love...I heard it on one of my stories!". An hour later she tapped me on the shoulder and goes "I know what it means! I just didn't want the other ladies to think I was a lose woman!".


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