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| No. 750 | 
Oct 05, 2009, 03:11 PM
 Re: Share your funniest patient stories...
Working at a health phone line, a guy called for a severe pain in the foot. My collegue asked him a few question to make sure there were no emergency, so she asked is it swollen, red, how much is the pain, how is the temperature of that leg, and the man kept answering ..well i don t know..so she was a little tired and finally said...well it should not be that complicated to answer my question, if you compare with your other foot is it bigger, warmer ...and the man said...well i don t know!!...i just have one leg!!
 | | Advertisement Sponsored Links | | | | No. 751 |
Oct 05, 2009, 03:16 PM
Re: Share your funniest patient stories...
Another one...health phone line..
a woman called to ask what she should do now...her husband was on a trip and she needed sex and she remembered one time her husband took a finger to stimulate her in the rectum than she tried this with a pen but now she lost the pen in and could not find it anymore so she wanted to know if she need to go to the emergency....I think so..and don't forget to SIGN your admission form...
| | No. 752 |
Oct 05, 2009, 03:32 PM
Re: Share your funniest patient stories...
The best one from a friend of mine who does not speak english at all...
my collegue was on her training for olderly (?)...the guy she worked with told her at 17hr we need to go fast, we go in each room and we install everyone in bed or chair for the meal coming at 17h30 . He told her, you start at one end of the hallway and I start the other side and we have to meet in the middle, so go fast. She did what he asked for, really motivated to get the job. She went in every room and installed every body, bed up , table in front of them and even the towel to cover the gown...in one room, she saw a old lady in the bed and next to her, a younger one was crying. She said to herself, probably the daughter findind hard to be next her sick old mom in the hospital. She installed the old lady ready for lunch and the other one keep repeating the same thing but she spoke english and my friend did not catch a word. She was really proud being that fast and got the the nurse zone where the head nurse asked to talk to her. The head nurse asked; do you speak english...my friend said...a little.. The head nurse told her, you know the lady in the room numberxx, she was triyng to tell you something. My friend said i know but I did not understand nothing so I installed her mother and left. Well, she was trying to tell her that her mother just died!!!
| | No. 755 |
Oct 18, 2009, 05:32 PM
Re: Share your funniest patient stories...
I work night shift. I've done my time on days back when I was a PCT, I vowed to NEVER return to days again. Well......
My manager called me at home (and I stupidly answered the phone). She needed some extra coverage on days for a weekend. She promised me I would get my night shift diff as an incentive. Well, I went in to work days.... It frickin sucked! I've always respected my day shift relief but I'll never do another day shift again, no matter what the pay..
Among other things, I had 1 particular pt... She was scheduled for a carotid endartectomy (88-99% blocked). Ok.... 1st day.... she was cool..... gave report, told them NPO after midnight, I went for some drinks and went home.
Second day, the surgeon had a load of emergency cases come in so he couldn't fit her in that day. She was also ****** cuz she couldn't eat, finally she ate and the Doc just said "F***-it, we'll do it tomorrow". Now here is where the story gets good. This patient was a die hard smoker. Now, I'm a smoker myself so I sympathize, but good Lord! Carotid blockage.....Nicotine constricting arteries...... bad...... To top it off, this woman had 18 hundred family members in the room just feeding her already ever present anxiety issues....
SO I called the primary doc. I love this doc, He wrote this exact order: "21mg Nicotine patch and Ativan .5 to 2mg, po or IV, q2-3h prn". Thus endeth the second day and still no procedure..... I again went for MORE drinks and went home.
After many doses of good old Vit A, she had her procedure. I later learned she was seen outside the hospital across the street smoking, just 2 days afterward! With 2 of the frickin 21mg patches on! When she was told that wasn't smart she just took off the patches and lit back up another Marlboro red.
Thus endeth my weekend..... I went for some whiskey and coke... and went home.
| | No. 756 |
Oct 23, 2009, 08:39 AM
Re: Share your funniest patient stories...
So I work as a CNA in a nursing home on the alzheimer's unit. It was around 10pm, so two other CNA's and I were sitting at the nurses stations with one of the residents that was a high risk fall and was always scratching herself. At the time, Jane [[we will call her]] seemed to be sleeping in her wheelchair. One little old lady, Mary [[we will call her]], who can't remember anything because of the strokes she had walked up to us and asked us where she was. Jokingly, one of the other CNA's replied that she was in a Brothel. Mary asked, "A What?" So the CNA replied again, "A Brothel." Mary asked about three more times when suddenly, Jane, who we thought was sleeping, quickly pulled her head up and said "And I'm the Queen." Mary then walked away, not remembering anything, while the CNA's and myself were laughing so hard. One of the girls asked Jane, "Do you Even know what a Brothel is?" Jane replied, "Yeah, It's a whorehouse." This caused us to laugh even more and we questioned her "Queen-ship" of the Brothel. She went on to tell us that she had skills that nobody else had, and that she made way more money than us, but could not tell us the exact amount because then we would want to be in a Brothel too. That was definitely one of the best nights ever. Since then, Jane has moved to a different unit because of her needs, but we still visit her every once in a while. =]
| | No. 757 |
Oct 23, 2009, 11:30 AM
Re: Share your funniest patient stories... Originally Posted by CristinJae  So I work as a CNA in a nursing home on the alzheimer's unit. It was around 10pm, so two other CNA's and I were sitting at the nurses stations with one of the residents that was a high risk fall and was always scratching herself. At the time, Jane [[we will call her]] seemed to be sleeping in her wheelchair. One little old lady, Mary [[we will call her]], who can't remember anything because of the strokes she had walked up to us and asked us where she was. Jokingly, one of the other CNA's replied that she was in a Brothel. Mary asked, "A What?" So the CNA replied again, "A Brothel." Mary asked about three more times when suddenly, Jane, who we thought was sleeping, quickly pulled her head up and said "And I'm the Queen." Mary then walked away, not remembering anything, while the CNA's and myself were laughing so hard. One of the girls asked Jane, "Do you Even know what a Brothel is?" Jane replied, "Yeah, It's a whorehouse." This caused us to laugh even more and we questioned her "Queen-ship" of the Brothel. She went on to tell us that she had skills that nobody else had, and that she made way more money than us, but could not tell us the exact amount because then we would want to be in a Brothel too. That was definitely one of the best nights ever. Since then, Jane has moved to a different unit because of her needs, but we still visit her every once in a while. =] This post offends me from every possible angle because it does not treat the patients in question with the dignity they deserve. The OP is young, but if she is old enough to work with dementia patients, then she is darn well old enough to treat them as she would like her grandma or great grandma to be treated! sharpeimom |
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