Share Your Funniest Patient Stories... - page 63

We all have lots of stories to tell. I thought it would be fun if we shared a few of our funniest patient stories with each other. :lol2: Here's mine... I keep remembering a particular... Read More

  1. by   LLRNWashington
    I was working eveing shift one day and thought I smelled smoke. Another nurse said I was crazy. Then we're walking down the hall and he say's I smell smoke. We run into the men's bathroom and there's a surgical pt lighting up still hooked to his IV pole. I said "you can't smoke inside the hospital. You have to go to the smoking area." The patient told me "I know, but it's cold and rainy outside. It's much warmer in here" as he was smiling. REALLY!!!
  2. by   San2003
    When I was a CNA we had a patient who passed away. Any who I was told the family was not coming in. The supervisor was going on a break and I told her I would watch for the funeral people and direct them on where to exit with the body. It was a 3-11 shift and it was about time to serve dinner we had residents all over the place. A man comes of the elevator dressed in a suit with a trench coat asking for the lady who had passed. I told him where she was and instructed him that he would need to bring his car to the rear entrance because it was about time to serve dinner and we could not clear the dining areas, he would have to take the body out the rear entrance. The man looked at me as though I was from Mars! Turns out he was the son and decided to stop by before she went to the funeral home. OMG Imagine someone telling you that you had to remove your mothers dead body and drive her to the funeral home yourself. I was so embarrassed I hid from that gentleman until I knew he was gone. It was awful!
  3. by   ValerieAnn21486
    when i was a cna at a nursing home (currently going to school to be an lpn), approximately 6 years ago, i was doing o.t and was working the over night shift, anyhow, the list i had picked had this hilarious old woman on it. anway i was doing my rounds and saved her for last because she loved to chat, and i didnt want to keep any of my other residents waiting, because she and i could talk for well over an hour. so i went in to take care of her and so, i was doing peri care on her, and i put a+d ointment on her buttocks, and when i rolled her over i was just reaching for the a+d as she said"hunny do you have any of the grease stuff?" i said "yes" she said "could you put some one me down there?" i said "of course i can" as i was rubbing it on she said to me "get in the lips get in the lips, dont worry you wont lose a finger" o-m-g what do you say? i bust out in a laugh, and literally crying from laughing, i miss her dearly! she certainly knew how to break the ice!
  4. by   ValerieAnn21486
    Quote from Pianist8
    I recall a rather comical story from many years back.....An ederly woman who had recently been released from the hospital was a given a Rx for Phenergan suppositories for n/v. After a day or so she put in a call to the physician and when we returned her call she stated most sincerely,... " I am so sorry to bother you, but I am having trouble with the suppositories. I don't mind that they are so cold, but the foil part really scratches my rectum and hurts. Is there anyway the Dr. could prescribe a pill instead?" LOLOLOLOLO

    ***Because of this, I always remember that just because something might be common sense or seem logical to us in the nursing field; others, may see things completely differently!!!
    Oh my, I dont think I could have held my laugh back! Good story thanks for sharing!
  5. by   Student-Nurse-Mouse
    I've spent the last few days reading these stories, so hilarious, some tragic.
    I'm a third year student nurse in the uk. I also work for an agency linked to the NHS as a care assistant. I also had a job as a hca in a private nursing home, and when I was just 17 I had a job as a part time ward waitress at a private hospital. I've managed to get few stories over my short years, most of them are down to my own stupidity than things patients have done.
    Here's a few tings that have stuck in my mind over the years.

    • While working as a ward waitress at the hospital, tere was a patient with a sign on the door saying warning, this patient bites. Being young and naive I believed the signs, and asked one of the older woman I worked with in the surgery if it was safe to go in. She went and told the patient, who asked to speak to me. I go in a bit apprehensive still, and she explains that she works in another section of the hospital and the signs were a practical joke by the other nurses. We had a good laugh, and every time she saw me after that she's snap her teeth at me. I ended up sneaking int her room fr chats when I had few free minutes, bringing in a tray of tea so we could have a quick drink.
    • While working in the nursing home a good few incidents happened. Just after I started at the home ~I had to take a month off becuase I cauht Glandular fever. After a few weeks of rest I was bored out of my skull and wanted to get back to work. I went to my GP for a final check, and told him I was going back to work, he advises against it as I could have an enkarged spleen, and a few of the residents were known aggressive. (He had seen scratches and bitemarks on me when I fist came to him with glandular) I decided to go back anyway, and the home put me on light duties as I was still easily tired. Second shift back I was assisting at lunch time, and was gently trying to take a spoon off of a resident because she was hitting anoher resident with it. Resident was not happy with this, so punched me in the gut so hard it winded me. Luckily I was ok but I've never seen the other staff move so quickly to my assistance.
    • Also at the home I used to work nights. I hated orking them as it was an old creepy manor house in the middle of no-where, and we had a habit of waching the late night horror film. I'm a very jumpy person, and horrors do nothing for my calmness. I was on my break, so ws sat in a chair half asleep listening to my ipod to block out the buzzers, and our lovlely confused patient, still mobile decides to sneak up on me. i look around and her fce is practically in mine. I screamed the home down.
    • While working on a word for the acency I was helping with the personal care of a bed bound patient with a trach, cath, the works. He was very over productive of 'chest gunk' (as I call it) but thankfully he could clear his chest very well. One time he coughed and a huge glob of gunk landed on my shoulder, missing the plastic apron I was wearing. I had a minor fit in the middle of the ward, as it is the one thing that makes me feel veryvery ill. someone else had to wipe my shoulder, and then find me a scrub top to wear, and also help me take my tunic off as i couldnt bear for it to touch me.
    • I have also noticed I something don't think before I speak. Was assising a patient by putting on TED stockings (For those who don't know they are the horrible anti-dvt socks most patients hav to wear in the hospital. These are the bane of my life, and I find it hard to put them on, no matter what trick I use. So I was tugging and pulling, and the patient looks at me and says 'you're enjoying this arnt you'. Without thinking I replied with 'Yes, I wrk up this morning thinking I just can't wait to put on (insert patient name here)'s ted stockings, it will just make my day' all I could hear from the other side of the curtain was the ward sister laughing at me.
    • Another time, as a student I was on a Gyne ward, about to give a clexane injection. Without thinking (Again) I said 'Ok, just a small prick and we'll be done' The patient looks at me barely able to stop giggling and replied : It's a small prick that got me into this mess thank you. (She was a early pregnancy, in for bad morning sickness)

    I have a few other stories but thse are the ones that come to mind first.
    Keep posting stories, they are fantastic
  6. by   pamelalayn
    The Doctor asks "Are you incontinent?"
    Patient replies "No I'm from Yonkers"
  7. by   sharpeimom
    Quote from pamela lyn
    the doctor asks "are you incontinent?"
    patient replies "no i'm from yonkers"

    that should have come with a spew alert!! a small very indignant little tuxedo kitten is wetter than she was a minute ago, as is the laptop monitor!
  8. by   mommaNoNurse
    Normally I don't reply, I just read and laugh, but this wasn't funny .
  9. by   mommaNoNurse
    Huh? <going back to reading and laughing>
  10. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from mommaNoNurse
    Normally I don't reply, I just read and laugh, but this wasn't funny .
  11. by   sharpeimom
    Quote from mommaNoNurse
    Normally I don't reply, I just read and laugh, but this wasn't funny .
    Quote from mommaNoNurse
    Huh? <GOING laughing and reading to back>
    Quote from Franemtnurse

  12. by   iNurseUK
    I heard this tale from a lecturer on the Oncology course I am doing.

    A sprightly old gentleman in his 70's came in for his pre-treatment assessment. During the course of this he was advised to use prophylactic protection if engaging in intimate relations with his wife as the treatment agents can linger in body fluids and are toxic.

    The old gent turns up for his treatment and the nurse asks "So Mr X, was everything explained to you about your treatment?"

    "Oh yes Nurse," says the chap "I've even got my condom on"
  13. by   sharpeimom
    sorry if you're offended, but sometimes you just have laugh or you'll either cry, go insane, or both. i worked on a locked psych dept. too long, i guess.

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