Share Your Funniest Patient Stories... - page 62

We all have lots of stories to tell. I thought it would be fun if we shared a few of our funniest patient stories with each other. :lol2: Here's mine... I keep remembering a particular... Read More

  1. by   meintheUSA
    Quote from lovemydeano
    A few years ago, I was working on a rehab floor and we ended up getting a quite elderly woman, I'll call her "Greta." One day the CNA who was assigned to her came out of her room with a look of horror on her face and said, "Mary, there's something wrong with Greta, there's a weird thing bulging between her legs, it looks like a......" I told her I would take a look at it, but knowing her history, I knew it was her prolapsed uterus. Being the jokester I am, I decided to take it to the max with the CNA. After looking at Greta, with the CNA in the room, I said "Oh, that's her uterus." The CNA was shocked and asked why it was on the outside of the body. I said, "Well, whenever you have a baby, eventually your uterus falls out. Everytime you cough, sneeze, pas gas, laugh, it will fall out." She asked me does this happen to all women (oh, how gullible!) Yes, I said, usually by about 40 or so, and if you can't afford the surgery to put it back in place, you have to wear special underwear to keep it in place. She said that must be very inconvenient. I said, think about what it's like to have sex!! I eventually told her I was joking, I really had her believing me for a few minutes.
    YOUR BAD.... I remember how frightened I was. Then this other aide tells me to reposition it !!! Seems the aides were doing this in the past... I went to the gyn with this poor demented lady, but refused to do it myself!!!!
  2. by   FranEMTnurse
    Nah, lovemydeano isn't bad, but she is very mischievous like me. Cheesy smile )
  3. by   fultimmom
    I work in LTC,so there is always some thing funny that a res will say. One day I was sitting at the desk doing some charting,I hear one of my res "Oh my,you have a big package". I look up to find the FedX delivery guy all red in the face!!! LOL
  4. by   wisconnie
    Quote from trvlnRN
    We all have lots of stories to tell. I thought it would be fun if we shared a few of our funniest patient stories with each other.

    I keep remembering to a particular incident a few years back. It wasn't even my patient. I was heading down the hallway on the CCU unit in which I worked. I was minding my own business, heading down the hallway and I just happened to glance into a patient room... I couldn't believe what I saw... An older gentleman, who clearly was having some post-op dementia after open heart surgery.... he was sitting up in the middle of his bed and with knees bent and feet braced at the bedrail for extra support.... With both hands...HE WAS PULLING on all of his CHEST TUBES with ALL OF HIS MIGHT!!! Needless to say, I sprang into action along with all the surrounding nursing staff. It took security along with all of us to restrain this man so he wouldn't hurt himself. Though it wasn't funny at the time....I can't get this picture out of my mind and find it amusing to remember.

    What's your story? :chuckle
    This story is about another nurses patient. I was working on a hospice/palliative care unit, and a patient died early in the morning. The patients wife and son were at his bedside when he died, however when the patient died the wife left to go to the bathroom. The nurse caring for this patient saw dentures in a cup, and placed them in the patients mouth; which is normally done. However the wife came back into the room and stated, "I can't find my dentures." The nurse knew exactly were they were; in the dead patients mouth!!! So the nurse had to tell the wife that she placed them in her husbands mouth. The wife said, "Take them out, I need them." lol
    Last edit by wisconnie on May 14, '10 : Reason: misspelled word
  5. by   NurseDevonL
    My friend who works in LTC told me this one and I die laughing when i picture it everytime lol

    She has a patient who is a tiny old woman and a HUGE fall risk (confusion,history of falls,weakness,etc.), this facility is very much against restraints, and I guess she had already fallen once before with the use of a bed alarm so they resorted to drastic measures with her.
    They give her this concave mattress right on the floor in the middle of the room so that the patient just kind of sinks right into the middle of the mattress and cant get out. Then all around her they fold out big layers of padding too, just in case. Well my friend checks in on her and sees her straining and almost toppling over onto the floor reaching both her arms out over the side of the special mattress, so my friend rolls her back over to the middle of the mattress, reorients her and leaves to check on others. Well she comes back later and all the padding is folded and piled up in one corner and the lady says "I cleaned up!!" lol She is still trying to fall even from a matress inches from the ground!

    I guess she does this CONSTANTLY lol
  6. by   Eastcoast24
    Anyone had to disimpact a patient? That's REAL fun. Only time I almost vomited in a patient's room... Oh this is funny...1st time: Had one of our doc's mom as a patient...(with severe dementia)... Received order to disimpact her...Dr. Son comes by to check on her, unfortunately for him his timing was during the "intervention"...And I needed help...hee hee hee. So he's in the room with mom talking me through the procedure while she is yelling profanities, and he ended up needing to step in b/c I was unable to loosen any stool (poor thing was severely impacted). Had to disimpact his own mom. He swore me to secrecy afterwards b/c his colleagues would never leave him alone if they knew!
  7. by   Eastcoast24
    Oooh I have another funny story... I had an elderly female patient who was suffering from active visual and auditory hallucinations, poor thing kept me entertained all night... At one point a coworker and I were cleaning her up and the pt looks at the other nurse with wide eyes and says, "Oh my! What are you going to do with all of those condoms!" We couldn't help it but we looked at each other and burst out laughing...
  8. by   rph3664
    Maybe that was a bit of revenge for all those nasty diapers she had to change?
  9. by   Primie2
    These stories are so funny. Glad I am choosing to become a nurse.
  10. by   Pianist8
    I recall a rather comical story from many years back.....An ederly woman who had recently been released from the hospital was a given a Rx for Phenergan suppositories for n/v. After a day or so she put in a call to the physician and when we returned her call she stated most sincerely,... " I am so sorry to bother you, but I am having trouble with the suppositories. I don't mind that they are so cold, but the foil part really scratches my rectum and hurts. Is there anyway the Dr. could prescribe a pill instead?" LOLOLOLOLO

    ***Because of this, I always remember that just because something might be common sense or seem logical to us in the nursing field; others, may see things completely differently!!!
  11. by   nightcrawler2be
    Many years ago when I was a young nurse I was working the adult psyche floor well there was a man who liked a younger female patient on the unit, in order to keep them seperate we had to keep a strict eye on both of them at all times. Well upon doing rounds we looked for her and she was sitting in her room brushing her hair, but now we had to find the guy and we tore up the unit looking for him. Well I eventually went to his room and heard the shower going as I drew back the curtain there he was fully dressed with the shower on full blast and a cigarette in his mouth. well not thinking much more about it I shut the curtain and as I was walking back into his room I hear him rrply, Excuse me u gotta a light?" ONly in nursing
  12. by   NurseLil
    I have a couple funny stories...

    Not too long ago I had an elderly male alcoholic, admitted with acute pancreatitis. He was on the alcohol protocol and had just had 10 mg Valium IV, and you absolutely couldn't keep him on the floor, so here he goes IV in his leg, tubing taped to his pants, downstairs to smoke singing "On the road again." Oh my word... You couldn't help but laugh.

    Just last night I had a male pt. with schizophrenia. So, I'm at the nurses station when he comes over the call system and says "I need some help in here! I'm having a baby! I'm having a miscarriage!" I was like yep, that my patient. Needless to say, I made sure he got his Lithium!
  13. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from NurseLil
    I had a male pt. with schizophrenia. So, I'm at the nurses station when he comes over the call system and says "I need some help in here! I'm having a baby! I'm having a miscarriage!
    Love it!

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