Share Your Funniest Patient Stories...

Nurses Humor

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We all have lots of stories to tell. I thought it would be fun if we shared a few of our funniest patient stories with each other. :lol2:

Here's mine...

I keep remembering a particular incident a few years back. It wasn't even my patient.

I was heading down the hallway on the CCU unit in which I worked. I was minding my own business, heading down the hallway and I just happened to glance into a patient room...

I couldn't believe what I saw...

An older gentleman, who clearly was having some post-op dementia after open heart surgery....

he was sitting up in the middle of his bed and with knees bent and feet braced at the bed rail for extra support....

With both hands...

HE WAS PULLING on all of his CHEST TUBES with ALL OF HIS MIGHT!!!

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Needless to say, I sprang into action along with all the surrounding nursing staff. It took security along with all of us to restrain this man so he wouldn't hurt himself. Though it wasn't funny at the time....I can't get this picture out of my mind and find it amusing to remember.

What's your story?

Another funny:

Many years ago....+20 I had a new diabetic patient. He was "going through some challenges in accepting his diabetes". AND everyday I was assigned to him to help him with his diabetic education. He was always "cracking jokes"...(I recognized this was his way of relieving the stress of the new diagnosis of diabetes). His joking was also preventing him from absorbing new information. After about 3 days of his merciless joking ....I decided to try something different.

I was teaching urine testing....he brought me his urine specimen. When he wasn't looking I switched the container and began teaching him how to check his urine.....Step #1. Place the test strip into the urine...soak it good....Step 2wait 30 seconds...etc. etc... :nurse:As the final step....I told him "And here is what you do after you have tested your urine".....I then proceeded to drink the contents of the cup. You should have seen the look on his face! :confused:The results: He promised NEVER to joke around again and began to take his diabetic education more seriously.

What was in the cup that I had switched? ....Apple juice! :nurse: nurse430+yrs

This supposedly happened around L.A. in the early part of my nursing experiences, early 1970's. An elderly LOL, in a SNF, trying to "help" had been brushing patients dentures for them. However, she had collected ALL the patients dentures & what happened after that is still a mystery!

I used to work in a LTC. We had a pt who was dying. Her daughter asked if she could spend the night in the empty bed in the pt's room. We said "no problem".

Unfortunately, we had an aide who started our 3-11 shift late. She missed report. Come 10:00p rounds, she went ahead of me into the dying pt's room.

I heard a loud "BOO!" a scream and a lot of laughing.

The poor aide didn't know the daughter was sleeping in the other bed. The aide bent down over the daughter to "check" her thinking she was a new admit she hadn't met.

Well, the daughter sprung up and scared the doo-hickey out of the aide.

I found the daughter laughing her butt off and the aide clutching her chest and panting.

I laughed sooo hard... after I figured out what happened.

The aide thought it was funny, but felt a little embarrassed.

The daughter apologized and said she couldn't resist. It was a stress-buster for her, I guess.

That family was goofy anyway!

Specializes in Respiratory.
nocalmomo said:
This supposedly happened around L.A. in the early part of my nursing experiences, early 1970's. An elderly LOL, in a SNF, trying to "help" had been brushing patients dentures for them. However, she had collected ALL the patients dentures & what happened after that is still a mystery!

This story reminds me of the time a care worker on nights was told to clean patients dentures. She collected them all up washed them before realizing she hadn't a clue whose teeth were whose! All the patients in the morning were trying all the teeth out to see which fit. I think nowadays there would be some big complaints going on if that happend now! :clown:

Specializes in psych. rehab nursing, float pool.

Years ago I worked with a very good aide. He was good to his patients,went above and beyond many a time. At the end of one shift he was reporting off to his nurse. I said he was very thorough,he gave the longest most descriptive report of the bowel movement one of the patient had. I swear it was 5 minutes in the reporting of said bowel movement. That forever more we would laugh with him as we recalled what we all referred to as " The Feces Thesis"

Specializes in Neuro; ER-Obs.

Had to reply to this thread!

It was not long ago that I had a pt who was admitted for cellulitis of the lower leg. (actually it was right behind the knee under the skin fold) My pt was extremely obese (480+lbs) and the skin folds were so tight in that area. She could get around pretty well, but it was painful to bear weight on that left leg. So she got up to the unit and I admitted her and checked out the area behind her knee. She was able to stand up, and I had reinforcements there just in case. I raised the bed as high as it would go and she was able to stand and bend over the bed so I could get a better look at the area. So here I am crouched down behind my pt with my head right at the butt level, trying to lift the skin to see this infected area.

Next thing I know, I heard her say "uh-oh" and before I could react, she blew the biggest fart I had ever heard (or felt) right in my face. I mean, I felt a breeze against my cheek even! She then says, "whew, I really had to make some wind!"

I'm just glad she didn't give me a 2-for-1 deal on that one! That would have been a major code brown!

:uhoh3:

Specializes in Respiratory.

Yeah, you had a lucky escape from what the older people call over here a 'follow through':yeah::chuckle

Specializes in Critical Care.

Learned a good lesson but it was funny...

I work 12 hour nights at a hospital and my 96 year old uncle had fallen and broken his hip and was taken to another hospital across town. His fall was on Saturday and he had surgery on Monday, but at his age, by Monday afternoon, they had to Narcan him and transfer him to the acute care unit. Working long nights, I didn't have a chance to go in until Thursday morning. When I got there at mid morning, he was laying flat on his back with his eyes closed and PT and OT were on either side of his bed, trying to get him up out of bed and since he wasn't responding, the nurse was drawing up Narcan, thinking that was the next step.

Now, his name is John Richard, but he has always been called Dick. On the name board in the room, they had his name as John, and PT and OT were calling him John. I simply stated they might have better luck if they called him Dick. Upon hearing me say his name, he immediately opend his eyes and looked at me and said HI. I said hi and asked how he was and he preceeded to tell me pretty good, but he missed my aunts cooking.

I then told him from across the room that they were trying to get him to sit up on the side of the bed. He simply said Oh, and without hesitation, he sat up and twisted without help so that his legs were over the side of the bed. Apparently, they thought his room mates name was John and they kept bumping him while trying to get his room mate up.

A simple lesson to remind me to ask my patients what they like to be called and not to assume it's their first name, or a derivative thereof.

Specializes in ICU/CCU,peds,UR,rehab.

Are we making the assumption that when we make fun of those we care for, we are better than they are? Christ only heals when we are humble and meet every patients needs as a servant. Not with arrogance or with lewd remarks. I have always ignored any comment that started with "Oh, you're a nurse, you must of heard this one." I apologize to any patient I have cared for in the 33 years I have been an RN if I have demeaned them in any way. KSH:bow:

Specializes in Neuro ICU and Med Surg.
Are we making the assumption that when we make fun of those we care for, we are better than they are? Christ only heals when we are humble and meet every patients needs as a servant. Not with arrogance or with lewd remarks. I have always ignored any comment that started with "Oh, you're a nurse, you must of heard this one." I apologize to any patient I have cared for in the 33 years I have been an RN if I have demeaned them in any way. KSH:bow:

No we aren't demeaning them. Sometimes something is just funny!

I agree with grace.

I also have this funniest moment at the CCU. I have a patient who is very thirsty. We can't give him water because he was on NPO. All we could offer was to wet his lips with cotton balls soaked in water. Eventually, he can't take it anymore. And to my surprise, he drank the suction bottle full of secretions!!!! It was very disgusting!!! We ran towards him to stop what he's doing. :D

southern RN said:
I had an old alcoholic man one night with lots of tattoos, across each butt cheek he had one word "the end ". I was also told by other staff he had a tattoo on his manhood, I made it my goal for the night to NOT know what that tattoo was! I sure hope ever who his tattoo artist was, he was well paid

:rolleyes:

I just recently had a 40 yr old, 397 lb patient. she was very nice and could get around well. the first morning I had her, she called me in to help her wash her back. when she leaned up, I saw something I've never seen before. a tattoo of a member. large and very life like. veins, scrotum and all. it was almost a foot long, pointing downward, and positioned right in the middle of her lower back. the lowest part of the tattoo was about 1 cm from her crack.

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