Share Your Funniest Patient Stories... - page 26

We all have lots of stories to tell. I thought it would be fun if we shared a few of our funniest patient stories with each other. :lol2: Here's mine... I keep remembering a particular... Read More

  1. by   Maine Critical Care
    we just got new rectal tubes that cost $500 each. they are for patients with horrible diarrhea and they can stay in a long time. i had bonded with a sweet dying man and his family. we prayed together, cried together etc. :uhoh21: :uhoh21: i started the morphine drip and we were on our way to the comfort care floor. i couldn't figure out why my motorized bed wouldnt drive and was dragging a wheel on the floor. when we (me, patient, bed, family) all got to the elevator, the bed just dead stopped and wouldn't go. i looked down and the dang rectal tube had gotten wrapped around the bed wheel a bunch of times, like an umbilical cord around a baby's neck. the family laughed, i laughed and was really a sight on my hands and knees cutting this very expensive rectal tube apart. it took a good 10 minutes and fortunately for the patient 1. he was asleep on morphine 2. the tube wasnt pulling on him and 3. his diarrhea had slowed to a trickle. the family was wonderful and we all agreed this would someday make a great story. wow.
  2. by   Maine Critical Care
    we just got new rectal tubes that cost $500 each. they are for patients with horrible diarrhea and they can stay in a long time. i had bonded with a sweet dying man and his family. we prayed together, cried together etc. :uhoh21: :uhoh21: i started the morphine drip and we were on our way to the comfort care floor. i couldn't figure out why my motorized bed wouldnt drive and was dragging a wheel on the floor. when we (me, patient, bed, family) all got to the elevator, the bed just dead stopped and wouldn't go. i looked down and the dang rectal tube had gotten wrapped around the bed wheel a bunch of times, like an umbilical cord around a baby's neck. the family laughed, i laughed and was really a sight on my hands and knees cutting this very expensive rectal tube apart. it took a good 10 minutes and fortunately for the patient 1. he was asleep on morphine 2. the tube wasnt pulling on him and 3. his diarrhea had slowed to a trickle. the family was wonderful and we all agreed this would someday make a great story. wow.
  3. by   Maine Critical Care
    My friend had her critically ill patient in a bed, hypotensive with pressors and trendelenberg position. He was on a ventilator. He got really agitated so finally she gave him a paper and pen. He wrote 'CALL 9-1-1', and gave her the paper. She told him "this is 911" and we all about died laughing.
  4. by   Maine Critical Care
    My patient had pericardial effusions and a big fever. She was young and very very ill. Every day the cardiologist did a subxyphoid drainage of her pericardium. The day I had her, I gave pain med and Versed first then we got started. The cardiologist got the catheter in place and as white fluid came back said quietly " it's *****" (purulent). The patient woke up and said "What's the matter with my *****??" and the doctor nearly lost it right there with the catheter in her pericardium. I leaned over and reassured her that the doctor had only meant she had a little pus around her heart. She went to sleep again and we tried really hard not to howl.
  5. by   Maine Critical Care
    My best friend in nursing school came to work at the same place I did. This is her story. She had 2 babies and got up every morning by 6. She worked PM's so was always tired.

    One day on the medical floor she was really busy. She had 5 patients, gave blood, ran around and thankfully had a man in a coma with NG feeds, IV, Foley and all she had to do was turn him.

    At 11PM she heard a crash. The man in a 'coma' was awake, on the floor and covered in urine, feces, blood and missing his foley, NG and IV's. My friend started to cry, put her head on the doorjam and said "this is the WORST day of my life!" The man on the floor then looked at her and said slowly, "ME TOO". I never get tired of that story.
  6. by   nurscee
    OMG This is cracking me up!!!!!!!!!!! I'm having the time of my life reading these.:roll :lol_hitti
  7. by   akmagnolia
    My first year of nursing I got a horrible tonsilitis on my days off. Teh Z-pack was new and was what was prescribed to me. I was so impressed with Zithromax and how quickly I started to feel better that I told all of my friends at work that I had swollen tonsils with white purulent pockets on them until I took Zovirax, and now they are so much better... I didn't catch my mistake until the next day.
  8. by   BSNtobe2009
    A friend told me this one...and I swear it is true, but happened many years ago.

    This happened up in a rural hospital in the mountains...a woman came into a hospital in labor with her 9th child, and she was only 28 years old. They brought all of the children with her and it was just after midnight when they brought her in. They didn't bring anything for the kids so the nurses were scrambling getting them some milk and popcorn to eat because that is all there was at that hour.

    After she had her baby, the doctor asked her if, "he could fix it so she wouldn't have anymore children" (they appeared to be extremely poor).

    She said, "Well how do you do that?" She was truly and sincerely confused.

    My friend said, as a joke, "Well ma'am, you do know how you are having all of these babies, don't you."

    The new mother laughed and said, "Well, of course I do....it gets to be that time of year."

    Now, they do things a little differently in the rural areas around here...as unethical as it was, they went ahead and tied her tubes.

    She really and truly didn't know why she kept having babies.
  9. by   ALCCRN
    These stories have been the greatest...I have a couple of my own...

    When I was a first-semester nursing student, our clinicals were at a local nursing home. My assignment was to assist a lady with her bath and help her get dressed. The lady had a deformity to one arm, but was able to do most of it herself. I was helping her get dressed and was pulling up her underwear, when she told me to "spray the princess". I was slightly confused, so she motioned to her Designer Imposters body spray for me to "spray the princess" with. I had to contain myself until I left the room.


    I work in a CVICU and was taking care of a little old lady post-CABG. Most LOL's are extremely sleepy after surgery. The nurse before me had hooked an IV up to her CVP line and given an antibiotic on a pump. So the IV tubing has a luer-lock but also fits into the line. She pressed the IV tubing in there so hard, that I was struggling to get it out. So, I'm pulling on the line and all of a sudden it comes out and my hand smacks her in the face. Of course, she's so sleepy, she barely wakes up to acknowledge it. Thank Goodness!!!
  10. by   scaredofshots
    It was my first day at clinicals and the first time I ever ever ever had any direct patient contact.
    (Needless to say I was very nervous.)

    Okay... I walk into my patients room and introduce myself and ask if he needs anything. The patient states "Yes, please help me stand up to go to the bathroom I have to pee so bad and I can not use this thing (the urinal) in the bed." I go to his bed and help him stand. Then he holds onto my arm and hands me the urinal!
    I could have died!! I know that I am supposed to help him out but I ain't ever ever ever done this before!!!!
    So, I held the urinal in place and because I was so nervous and did not want to risk getting any pee on me I held the urinal tightly against his "scrotum area".
    My patient started to moan and complain of pain he said "WOW, that hurts." I just remember thinking to myself "Gosh, I wonder what is wrong with him, I bet he has some sort of kidney problem."
    It was then that he said "MY Gosh woman your cutting my balls off with the edge of this thing!"
    I busted out laughing and just about let the poor guy fall into the floor!! After he finished his business I left the room and avoided him the rest of the day.. lol :smackingf
  11. by   lvs2nrs3535
    I think it is very nice of you to let these little things go by, as long as she is not continuing to make these oversights! It is easy to miss things when you first start, there is so much to learn, it is hard to keep it all straight.

    Quote from Lobster103
    I am a weekend NP at a busy family practice. This past weekend was the first day for a brand new RN we just hired. I will call her "Libby." I think she is going to turn out just fine, but she made a few "rookie" goofs while weighing and measuring patients on her first day.
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    The first goof involved a tall young woman who was at the office on account of a sore throat. As I reviewed the woman's chart before entering the exam room, I noticed that Libby had recorded her height as 6'2 " but her weight as only 148. I entered the room thinking this would be the tallest female patient I had examined in quite some time. I found the woman sitting on the exam table in jeans and what appeared to be at least 4" high heels, which would have made her about 6'6" in those shoes. But when she stood up for a coordination tto go down the hall for a strep test I recommended (still in her heels), I could tell she was tall, but not 6'6." As it turns out, Libby had not asked her to take her shoes off while she measured her height. I asked the woman how tall she was, and she said about 5'10." We both had a good laugh when I showed her what height Libby had written on her chart. The woman said she literally forgot that she was in heels while being measured--the first I had ever heard of that!
    <O></O>
    Later in the day, I was reviewing the vitals of a male patient who complained of abdominal cramps. He had been at our office for a physical about six months earlier and his weight had been recorded as 186 . You can imagine my horror when I saw that Libby had recorded his current weight at 238. It appeared the man had gained 52 pounds in six months! Afraid we might have a serious case on our hands, I entered the exam room prepared to question the patient extensively about his weight gain. Taking one look at him, I didn't think he looked an ounce over 200 at the most. To be sure and using some quick thinking, I politely told him the nurse must have grabbed the wrong chart and that I needed to quickly get his weight again. I weighed him at about 188. Then it hit me. Libby had applied the "38" marker on the scale to 200, instead of 150. Our patient had only gained about 2 pounds since his last visit, not 52!
    <O></O>
    After some thought, I decided not to mention either incident to Libby. I think they are both easy mistakes for a new RN to make on her first day, especially considering that we saw more than 80 patients that day. What do you all think?
    <O></O>
  12. by   SoonToBeNurse
    OMG!!! I have just spent the last 3 hrs reading all 34 pages!!! I should be asleep, everybody else in the house is....I don't have anything to add, I will probably think of something later....Thanks everyone for the laughs!!!
  13. by   Ashley4936
    Quote from stidget99
    I think that my funniest experience occurred while I was working home health. I had this female patient who was very slight on top but very wide across the bottom. One day, she soiled herself and her aide was unable to get her cleaned up. I was called to the home to lend a hand. It was decided that she was no longer able to remain at home so I called EMS for transfer to the local hospital. She had no clean gowns available so the plan was to transport her wrapped in blankets. Upon undressing her, the aide and I realized that she really wasn't that large across her hips........it was her breasts resting along side of her hips! When we (2 EMT's and myself) tried transferring her to the stretcher, we had a very difficult time controlling her breasts. This poor pt literally looked like she had two cantaloupes in a pair of nylons attached to her chest wall. The pt...obviously experienced in this situation....said "No problem. I know how to handle this". With that, she took both of her breasts and tossed them over her shoulders! They funny thing is that they stayed just where she put them!!! Once we got her on the stretcher, she was obviously uncomfortable w/ her laying on them. So, she pulled at the skin on her chest and they flapped back but fell off of the side of the stretcher. We tucked "all of her" in the sheet then secured her w/ the straps. We all excused ourselves back into the house where we all bust a gut laughing!!
    omg! that is hilarious! I feel like it's one of those "you'd have to see it to believe it" type of situations.

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