share the weirdest reasons patients push the call light for

One patient rung for me to put the head of his bed up...about one inch. As I was leaving the room his light came on again...to lower the head of the bed. I handed him the control and told him to adjust the bed where he wanted it. He told me, I can't see it, I'm almost blind. I showed him that the buttons were raised and any pointing up would raise and any pointing down would lower and to have fun with discovery.

I have had calls to move the bedside table an inch over, too. Any number of things that people can do for themselves. They get upset with me when I remind them it's a rehab unit and they need to do these things for themselves.

Before I came to nrsg school I was a legal assistant at a small law firm, where I swear, I had to explain how to use the fax machine at least four times a day. I used to say that once I was a nurse, at least I'd be taking care of people who had an excuse for not being able to wipe their own @$$!

I once had a patient who called me to the room to wipe his butt because he did not wipe his own butt at home....his wife did. (I'm not kidding about this)

That same patient would call me to his room to pull the bedside table closer to him, and pour him a cup of cold water. He didn't have to do this for himself at home. His wife did it, or their "help" did it.

Was he too sick to wipe his own butt and get his own water? No. He was a walky-talky dressed in a silk robe and jammies who could do everything for himself if he wanted to. He didn't want to.