Rude Doctor Joke

Doc, am I getting better?"
"I don't know - let me feel your purse. Next."

"Doc, is it a boy?"
"Well, the one in the middle is. Next."

"Doc, my child just swallowed a pen. What should I do?"
"Use a pencil, Next."

"Doc, every bone in my body hurts."
"Be glad you're not a herring. Next."

"Doc, you're charging me ten dollars and all you did was paint my throat."
'What did you expect for ten dollars - wallpaper? Next."'

"Doc, what should I do if my temperature goes up another point?"
"Sell! Next."

"Doc, how can I avoid falling hair?"
"Step to one side. Next."

"Doc, I just wanted to let you know that there is an invisible man in your waiting room."
"Tell him I can't see him now. Next."

"Doc, am I going to die?"
"That's the last thing you're going to do, Next."

"Doc, this ointment you gave me makes my arm smart."
"Why not rub some on your head? Next."

"Doc, I think I've developed a split personality."
"Okay, go chase yourself. Next."

"Doc, nobody ever listens to me."
"Next."