Redneck Medical Terms

Hope this gives you a good laugh! This way if you work in my home state of NC you will know what the locals hear when you say these things! lol!


Benign - What you be after you be eight.
Artery - The Art of learning how to Color real good.
Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria.
Barium - What doctors do when patients die.
Cesarean Section - A important neighborhood in Rome.
CATscan - Searching for kitty.
Cauterize - Made eye contact with her.
Colic - A Sheep dog
Coma - A punctuation mark.
D & C - Where washington is.
Dilate - To live long.
Enema - Not a Friend.
Fester - Quicker than someone else.
Fibula - A small lie.
Genital - Non-jewish person.
G.I. Series - World Series of Military baseball.
Hangnail - What you hang your Coat on.
Impotent - Distinguished, well known.
Labor - Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff - A Doctor’s cane.
Morbid - A higher offer than I bid
Nitrates - Cheaper than day rates.
Node - I knew it.
Outpatient - A person who has fainted.
pap smear - A fatherhood test.
Pelvis - .Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative - A letter carrier.
Recovery Room - Place to do uhpostlery
Rectum - Damn near killed him.
Secretion - Hiding something.
Seizure - Roman emperor.
Tablet - A small table.
Terminal Illness - Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor - More than one.
Urine - Opposite of you’re out.
Varicose - Near by/close by.