Psychiatric Hotline

This is an oldie but a goodie

The Psychiatric Hotline
Hello, Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive,
please press 1 repeatedly
.
If you are co-dependent,
please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities,
please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional,
we know who you are and what you want.
Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic,
listen carefully
and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive,
it doesn't matter which number you press.
No one will answer.

- Author unknown -