Product Wording

  1. This is a list of what all the advertising terms on products really mean...

    NEW - Different color from previous design.

    ALL NEW - Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.

    EXCLUSIVE - Imported product.

    UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition.

    FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments.

    ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn't understand it.

    IT'S HERE AT LAST - Rush job. Nobody knew it was coming.

    FIELD TESTED - Manufacturer lacks test equipment.

    HIGH ACCURACY - Unit on which all parts fit.

    FUTURISTIC - No other reason why it looks the way it does.

    REDESIGNED - Previous flaws fixed - we hope.

    DIRECT SALES ONLY - Factory had a big argument with distributor.

    YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one to work.

    BREAKTHROUGH - We finally figured out a use for it.

    MAINTENANCE FREE - Impossible to fix.

    MEETS ALL STANDARDS - Ours, not yours.

    SOLID-STATE - Heavy as hell.

    LESS FATTENING - Now doesn't have the same fat content as pig stomach lining.

    HIGH RELIABILITY - We made it work long enough to ship it.

    NON-REFUNDABLE - We couldn't make it work long enough to ship it.

    FAT FREE - You pay for the food, but the fat is free.
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  2. 2 Comments

  3. by   Havin' A Party!
    Hahahahahaha!

    Favorites:

    "YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one to work."

    "BREAKTHROUGH - We finally figured out a use for it."

    "SOLID-STATE - Heavy as hell."
  4. by   Nikki730
    Too funny!

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