Political Correctness Gone Too Far

  1. HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
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    1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
    2. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
    3. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
    4. She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
    5. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
    6. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
    7. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
    8. She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
    9. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
    10. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
    11. She is not a **** - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
    12. She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
    13. She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~

    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
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    1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
    2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
    3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
    4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
    5. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.
    6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes
    ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
    7. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.
    8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.
    9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.
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  2. 3 Comments

  3. by   Andy S.
    laughed so hard i cried!!!!!!
    thanks
    andy
  4. by   SICU Queen
    OMG! I'm gonna puke from laughing so hard. Thanks for the day-brightener!
  5. by   teeituptom
    Hi yall
    From deep in the heart of texas
    In the best of interests for this coloumn, I will remain politically correct
    1> No Comment
    2> This is too much information
    3> Sorry didnt hear that, ny hearing loss is acting up<slective>
    4> Hope you have a good day
    5> Ah Huh
    6> Sorry got to go empty that bedpan
    7> What about those yankees
    8> How about that Tiger Woods
    9> How hot do you make your chili
    10> do you like cheese on your cheeseburger???
    11> How do you feel about Jimmy Carter???
    12> I see the sky is clear, are the stars out tonight

    keep it in the short grass, yalll
    teeituptom

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Political Correctness Gone Too Far