Nursing School Bloopers

Some memories from when I was in school...

1. One day, in our introduction to nursing class, the professor asked us if we had any issues during our first few days of clinical. This guy in my class was really embarassed, but he asked about sexual harrassment. Apparently, he was giving a sponge bath to his female patient, and when it came time for peri care, he put a washcloth in her hands and told her to clean herself. She had full use of her arms and there was no reason for her not to do it. But nooooo, she complained that she was "so very tired" and could he please do it for her? So he does, quickly, and she suddenly starts MOANING, "Oooooh, that feels soooooo gooooooood..." and he just books out of there!

2. In our pathophysiology class, our instructor was going over a quiz on infection with us. He said that we had to be careful what we wrote in our charting, because you never know how it's going to look through someone else's eyes. One student had been writing about the drainage from a very infected wound...and instead of writing purulent, she wrote...well..."p-u-s-s-y" instead. He had her read it out loud. She kept saying "pus" and "eeee" and he kept telling her to read it over again and again. FINALLY after saying it about ten times, she looked down and said, "OH MY GOSH!!!" and cracked up. The instructor thought it was a hoot, and said someone does it every year.

3. When I was doing my psych clinical, I was assigned to a manic depressive man and had to write a paper about him. I interviewed him one day, and he started telling me about this super-religion he was creating - he read about all religions, took all the good parts and scrapped all the bad parts, and made this wonderful non-denominational religion. My instructor was nearby and boy was she mad when she saw me nod my head and agree that it was a wonderful idea he had. That was the day I realized that I could never do psych, LOL!

You know you are a nursing student when:

You catch yourself singing "Happy Birthday" whenever you wash your hands.

LOL! It sure is nice to know that I am not the only one to have gotten that 100mL NaCl shower!

I've done the same thing ... twice.

i was working on a general medical floor this past semester. my pt. was a psych pt, who suffered from schizophrenia.

well, i had just gone on my break when he yells out "F! off!!!". you could hear it all they way down the ward. so my nurse goes in and asks him what wrong. and he yells out at the top of his lungs "Sex!!! everyone is getting it but me!!!" needless to say, i was kinda nervous going back in there.

These are great!
One of my colleagues on the night shift had a patient who kept asking for a 'bedbath'. We were slow so she got her wish. Throughout the night however she kept asking for a bedbath. The nurse explained that she had gotten her bedbath and should try to sleep. After a few hours the patient was still wanting her bedbath. The nurse, now getting frustrated, said "we don't do that on night shift" and encouraged the patient to try and sleep. The patient's call light went on as the day shift came on. She told them she needed her bedPAN- and "apparently you can't go at night in this place" We appologized for the misunderstanding and had a good laugh later!

here's another one. you know you're a nurse if...

...you've used a tongue depressor as a spoon.
...your wardrobe consists of white scrubs and comfortable shoes.
...you've ever congratulated someone for passing gas.

I was so naive!!! During my OB rotation, when doing fundal massage in the OB recovery room, I exclaimed "This is amazing! The more you rub it the harder it gets!" EVERYONE in the recovery room---patient, doctor, grandparents, instructor, looked like their eyes were going to pop out. I honestly had no clue why.

This one is from last week:

I'm changing a dressing on a recent foot amputation. I get the dressing off and hold the leg up to assess the wound. In the center of the wound, staring right back at me, is a 2 cm by 2 cm block of tissue that is hard and a yellowish white. I'm thinking to myself, "Wow! That's this guy's tibia!"

I then start to wonder if that is normal. (For the surgeons to just leave the bone exposed like that.) So, I look over at my instructor who is observing the procedure. She has turned completely green and looks like she is about to pass out, barf, or both. So... Yeah, I guess that's not normal.

It looked like they did the amputation w/ a freakin meat cleaver.

First semester, first IM injection. Standing at the med cart with my instructor, who was watching me draw back the medication. I had trouble getting the cap off the syringe, but she told me, "just pull it straight off". Finally got it off, drew up the medication from the bottle. Instructor, cool as kool-aid, says "What's that on the front of your uniform?" It was blood--my blood! Not only on my uniform, but also dripping on my shoe. I was SO intent on doing that shot right that I didn't notice I split my palm wide open with the needle. GAWD.