No Nursing Home for ME!

NO Nursing Home for me!

With the average cost for a Nursing Home per day
reaching $188.00, there is a better way when we get old and feeble. I have acertained that I can get a nice room at the
Holiday Inn for around $65.00...that leaves $123.00 a day for beer, food (room service), laundry, gratuities and special TV movies. They have a swimming pool, a workout room, a
lounge, washer, dryer, maid service,etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo, soap
and towels.
Super 8 is somewhat more economical, and they have
a free breakfast, though you usually have to walk next door
for lunch and dinner.
There may be a bit of a wait to get that first floor room,
but that's Okay; it takes months to get into decent nursing homes. There is the Senior Bus, the Handicap bus (if you
fake a decent limp), a Church bus or van, cabs, and even a regular bus. For a change of lunch, take the Airport Bus
and eat at one of the fast food cafe's there.
The Inn has security, and if someone sees you drop
over, they will call an ambulance. And should you break a
hip, the American Way is to sue. What more can you ask for?
As a bonus, they all have AARP and other Senior
discounts. So:
When I reach the golden age,
You can help me keep my grin.
Just check my old rickety ass
Into the nearest Holiday Inn!