No Bed Flatulence

  1. This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.

    The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

    Every morning she would plead with him to stop
    ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told
    her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.
    She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that
    one day he would blow his guts out.

    The years went by and he continued to rip them out!

    Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing
    the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep,
    she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.

    She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the
    bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

    Some time later she heard her husband waken with his
    usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.

    The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

    About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.

    She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."
    "What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened.

    But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these
    two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."

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  2. 18 Comments

  3. by   BadBird
    OMG, that is so funny
  4. by   ptnurse
  5. by   Hidi74
    OMG!!!! So, so ,so funny!!! :roll :chuckle :roll :chuckle
  6. by   rebelwaclause
    (Thinking of this old distraught man "fingering" turkey inards into his behind....):

    BWAAAAAHHHHH.....HAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA....HAHAHAHAHAHA HA!

    Vegas, mayun...you are too much!!!!
  7. by   moonchild20002000
    Vegas,you have me rolling on the floor!!!
  8. by   AlaskanRN
    Vegas...You're Hysterical...I really needed the laugh today...Thanks...

    Candy
  9. by   ?burntout
    :roll
  10. by   sunnygirl272
    that joke always makes me laugh.....
  11. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    :chuckle :roll

    Heather
  12. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    Originally posted by rebelwaclause
    (Thinking of this old distraught man "fingering" turkey inards into his behind....):
    That's the funniest part!

    Heather
  13. by   SmilingBluEyes
    OHHHH tooooo funny!
  14. by   Robin61970
    So......would "YOU" have told him the truth??? LOL

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