New Meds that are out Today

  1. new meds for women:

    damitol - take 2 and the rest of the world can go to h%ll for up to 8 hours.

    st. mom's wort - plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.

    empty nestrogen - highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

    peptobimbo - liquid silicone for single women. two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.

    dumerol - when taken with peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low i.q. , causing enjoyment of country western music.

    flipitor - increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

    antiboyotics - when administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.

    menicillin - potent antiboyotic for older women. increases resistance to such lines as, "you make me want to be a better person... can we get naked now?"

    buyagra - injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. increases potency and duration of spending spree.

    extra strength buy-one-all - when combined with buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a donny osmond cd or a book by dr. laura.

    jackasspirin - relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.

    antitalksident - a spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.

    sexcedrin - more effective than excedrin in treating the, "not now, dear, i have a headache," syndrome.


    thought you may enjoy this
    zoe

    :d
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  2. 3 Comments

  3. by   maggie7
    loved these Zoe.
  4. by   debyan
    ST Mom's Wart :roll: TOO FUNNY I wish I had some of that for my daughter
  5. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    Originally posted by ITSJUSTMEZOE
    Damitol - Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to h%ll for up to 8 hours.
    I believe this one is a controlled substance due to it's addictive properties.

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