THE NEW ABRIDGED MEDICAL DICTIONARY

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    THE NEW ABRIDGED MEDICAL DICTIONARY

    BARIUM: What doctors do when patients die.
    COLIC: A sheep dog.
    D&C: Where Bill Clinton lives.
    DILATE: To live longer.
    FESTER: Quicker.
    HANGNAIL: Coat hook.
    IMPOTENT: Distinguished, well known.
    LABOR PAIN: Get hurt at work.
    MEDICAL STAFF: A doctor's cane.
    MORBID: A higher offer.
    NITRATES: Cheaper than day rates.
    NODE: Was aware of.
    OUTPATIENT: A patient who fainted.
    PAP SMEAR: A fatherhood test.
    PELVIS: Cousin to Elvis.
    RECOVERY ROOM: A place to do upholstery.
    RECTUM: Dang near killed 'em.
    TERMINAL ILLNESS: Getting sick at the airport.
    TERMINAL ILLNESS: Getting sick at your computer.
    TUMOR: More than one.
    URINE: Opposite of "You're out".

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