From the mouths of non-nurses

I can't count how many times I have been asked what a patient's "Stats" are.


(Imagine a deep southern drawl) I had an elderly COPDer telling me that she needed to call. When I handed her the phone, she looked at me like I had grown a second head. She repeated call, I need to CALL! I asked her if she needed me to dial? "NO, no, I need to call. Hand me a tishey" HUH! When I got it, I handed her a tissue and she coughed so hard she turned slightly blue! Hello, deep south!

Have you had one ask you to hand them the "jug" so they can "make water" yet? I was raised in the South and that one still tickles me.

A college friend who came to borrow books and wondered how your cervix could be fractured!!!!!

My sons often ask me when I come home from work "Did you get to do anything cool today, like put a tube is some guys , or stick him with needles?" I once answered "no, but I got to put a suppository in a patients rectum" and he replied "Mom you have the coolest job!" If he only thinks I am this cool when he is 16......