From the mouths of non-nurses

During a sheath pull today, my patient had a vagal response. Later in the day, his wife came to the nurse's station and wanted to know if he could ever eat bread again. Confused, I asked her why she thought he couldn't eat bread. She said, "Well, I heard he had a bagel response when you and the doctor were in there, so I figured he might be allergic or something."

I nearly peed my pants with that one!

A BAGEL RESPONSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

My brother is on immunosupressants post-kidney/pancreas transplant. He had to educate all his friends, guests etc. about how important sanitation is around him. It amazes me how many people say things like "Well I hope you're taking lots of Airborne/Vit C/Zinc to strengthen your immune system!" Um.....

As if the Prograf has another purpose, and immunosupression is just a nasty side effect. LOL

We had a woman years ago in a LTC facility where I was a CNA (before I got my LPN) Whenever she was in pain and wanting a Tyl 3 she would call and ask for her 'Tylenol with cocaine'. Sound pretty funny coming from an 80 something woman!

My elderly mother went shopping with me one day. She seemed exhausted so I asked her how she was doing. She told me she needed a banana because her "electric lights were off."

I was working on a telemetry floor in a Catholic hospital when I had an older gentleman in a-fib. He asked me when could he go home? I told him as soon as he converted. He replied " send in the nuns I'm ready to convert."

These are cracking me up.
Keep them coming.

Oh dear Lord I just nearly wet myself a bagel response.......................................... .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. ...................................


I love it!

Recently had a little lady who stated that her pain was coming back and whe would like some more 'vikington'.

I woke my hubby laughing at these! Please send more!

I can't count how many times I have been asked what a patient's "Stats" are.


(Imagine a deep southern drawl) I had an elderly COPDer telling me that she needed to call. When I handed her the phone, she looked at me like I had grown a second head. She repeated call, I need to CALL! I asked her if she needed me to dial? "NO, no, I need to call. Hand me a tishey" HUH! When I got it, I handed her a tissue and she coughed so hard she turned slightly blue! Hello, deep south!