While doing my final stint as a nursing student, I was helping another nurse change the bed of a very heavy patient who had suffered a stroke. For some reason, we neglected to reposition her to the middle of the bed before putting the top sheet over her. I dropped the siderail briefly to make a nice, neat nurse's corner. The patient chose that moment to move, and the next thing I knew, she was on the floor. All 300 lbs. of her.
Horrified, I rushed to comfort her and check her vitals, while the other nurse ran to get the Hoyer, and summon some other nurses to help get her into the sling. Pretty soon, it seemed that every nurse on the ward was in the room - it's like a traffic accident, everyone has to come and have a look.
The patient seemed okay, so we got her into the sling, and began to lift. As soon as we got her airborn, she began to let loose with the longest, loudest farts I have ever heard. They were quite pungent, too, and did a good job of clearing those who had just come to gawk out of the room.
We got her settled in bed, and I fussed over her a bit, asking if there was anything I could do for her. She replied that her shoulder, which had been sore earlier, had been made worse by the fall, and would I please refill her icebag.
"Certainly," I replied, and picked up the ice bag by what I thought was the top. It wasn't. It was the bottom, and as I lifted it, the clip at the top snagged on the sheets and sprang open, dousing the patient and the freshly made bed with ice water and bits of ice. Horrified, I managed to snatch the sheet off the bed before the water soaked through to the rest of the bedding. Apoligizing profusely, I moppped up the patient, remade the bed, and slunk off to the nursing station to file the incident report.
The next time I came on duty, I was greatly relieved to find that the patient was recovering nicely, and had been discharged to a nursing home.