Most Embarassing Nursing Moments

On my unit our surgical patients come back many times with JP (Jackson Pratt Drains) which look like little plastic football shaped grenades.
Anyway... I told a male patient one time that I was "just coming in to check his little balls"
nice huh?
He wasn't impressed.
whoops!

i had just transfered to the cardiac rehabilitation floor from orthopedics. One of the nurses was going on break and asked me to "get a set of orthos" on one of her patients as they needed it done at a certain time. Not used to the language in cardiac i asked the nurse "where are they?" she looked at me with the strangest look on her face....and said "You dont get them anywhere. You do them. You know? orthostatic blood pressure"

i dont know what i was thinking! Being the youngest on the floor (only 21 years old) and asking that question, i'm sure it didn't look that great on my part.

As a student I asked a conscious ventilated patient who was a quad to take a deep breath as i listened to his lungs.

I was assisting a doc debred a diabetic toe ulcer. I was gloved and my gloves were tainted from material as I held the foot securely. Then, my phone started playing a happy little tune in my pocket. The doc and the patient both looked at me and grinned. I couldn't let go of the foot and wouldn't have reached into my pocket with those gloves so I was trapped. I apologized and after a minute it stopped. Then a minute later it gave a loud buzz to let me know whoever had called left a message. They both laughed out loud at that!

I just pretended nothing happened, he didn't mention it and I certainly wasn't going to!

In training an elderly man with Alzheimer's peed in his drinking glass and then proceeded to drink it. Me and my fellow student went to the desk and asked the cute medical student whether we should chart that as input or output! I can't remember his response!

Another one along the same line was a little native boy who peed in his water jug one night and I thinking it was apple juice tried to get him to drink it, as he was on push fluids. The horrified child just stared at me in disbelief, not saying a word. It took some time to get it out of him why he absolutely refused to drink!

And here I thought that only happened on Grey's Anatomy!

I was a second year student on a medicine floor. Nineteen and still very innocent/naive about some of the ways of the world. I answered a call bell for a student who was on break-it was a 4-bed room, all older men.

I did what the patient needed, then before leaving, I touched his hand with mine. His eye lit up and he said:

"Oooh-eee! You've got hot little hands. You got a boyfriend?".
*Me, puzzled*, "Where did that question come from?"
"Well with hands like that you could sure keep a man warm at night!".

I went bright red and hightailed it out of the room with the chortles of the men following me.

The next morning, I was standing in the hallway, looking over the nurse's desk, talking to my instructor when I felt a tug on my skirt. I turned around and saw the gentleman from the day before. He winked at me, grinned and said, loud enough for all and sundry to hear, "Hey there, Hot Stuff!".

Another one....

I was a student on the post-partum unit. I had a young-ish (~20 years old) mom who was working hard to establish a good nursing relationship with her new baby. She couldn't tell if her milk had come in yet and she asked me if there was a way to check.

We had learned in class to 'milk' the breast to check for let down, so I explained what I wanted to do, pulled the curtain and she lowered her gown so I could check her breast for milk.

Apparently I was a little too vigorous with the 'milking', because I wound up with a face full of breast milk. I was able to assure her that her baby was definitely getting good Mama's milk.