Mens rules - page 3

Sorry if this has been posted before.... Dave The Rules - This Time By Men We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!... Read More

  1. by   monkijr
    "the more i know men, the more i like my dog!!!!"
  2. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    Thirty Things You'll Never Hear A Man Say

    1. I just love how Barry Manilow sings, don't you?
    2. No, I don't want another beer. I have to work tomorrow.
    3. You know, her breasts are just too big for my liking.
    4. Sometimes I just want to be held.
    5. Boy, that Barbara Walters on "20/20" is one sexy babe.
    6. Sure, honey! I'd be happy to discuss the state of our relationship.
    7. We haven't been to the mall for ages. Let's go shopping and I can hold your purse.
    8. Forget Monday Night Football. Let's watch something meaningful on the "Lifetime Channel."
    9. It's late. Put your clothes back on and I'll take you home.
    10. Honey, I'm going to the store. Do you need more tampons?
    11. Actually, I prefer it when *you* hold the remote.
    12. I'm sick of beer. Give me a fruit juice.
    13. Great! Your mother's coming to stay with us again.
    14. I wonder if my gorgeous neighbor knows that her drapes are open when she's getting ready for bed. Maybe I should tell her.
    15. No way. You weeded the garden last week. It's my turn.
    16. Better get rid of these old Playboy magazines. I don't look at them any more.
    17. I understand.
    18. This movie has way too much gratuitous nudity.
    19. Damn, we're late for church!
    20. No! I don't want to see your sister's breasts.
    21. Damn these onions, pass me a tissue.
    22. Put some panties on, for Pete's sake.
    23. Eat something! You are starting to look like a Victoria's Secret Model!
    24. Don't pick that up, I got it.
    25. Happy Anniversary!
    26. Hey, isn't today your Mother's birthday?
    27. Let's talk. I miss talking.
    28. Gay men have rights too!
    29. I am just too tired to have sex again today!
    30. Are you losing weight, sweetie?
  3. by   monkijr
    hey, hey, heather, thanks for making me repeat it "the more i know men, the more i like dogs!!!!" :chuckle
  4. by   Momto3RN
    Not bad!!

    I enjoyed reading "the guy rules" and actually found a lot of truth there. My husband will get a huge kick out of them.

    By the way....shopping IS a sport!!
  5. by   live4today
    I have to agree with all 30 things you'll never hear a man say, too. Also, agree that the more I know about men, the more I like my doggie! :kiss
  6. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    The more I know of men..... the more I like a migraine.

    Unless they're naked

    Heather
  7. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    hehe!

    A study in Wisconsin showed that the kind of male face a
    woman finds attractive can differ depending on where a
    woman is in her menstrual cycle.

    For instance: if she is ovulating she is attracted to men with
    rugged and masculine features.

    If she is menstruating, she is more prone to be attracted to a
    man with scissors shoved in his temple and a baseball bat
    jammed up his ass.


    :chuckle Heather
  8. by   Brita01
    Originally posted by OBNURSEHEATHER
    hehe!

    A study in Wisconsin showed that the kind of male face a
    woman finds attractive can differ depending on where a
    woman is in her menstrual cycle.

    For instance: if she is ovulating she is attracted to men with
    rugged and masculine features.

    If she is menstruating, she is more prone to be attracted to a
    man with scissors shoved in his temple and a baseball bat
    jammed up his ass.


    :chuckle Heather

    Hey, that baseball bat isn't long enough!
  9. by   NRSKarenRN
    Good one Dave...widely recirculated to the men in my life AND their woman too.
    :roll
  10. by   zudy
    HEATHER!!!!!:roll so true!!!
  11. by   saintcheryl2002
    RE: Mens Rules

    You are on the wrong bulletin board.......
    try this one: PHILMCGRAW.COM
    Last edit by saintcheryl2002 on Sep 17, '02
  12. by   Zee_RN
    "1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. "

    My husband's personal favorite! I'm always reminding him of things he said and he has NO recollection of it all!! He wants this engraved on the refrigerator.
  13. by   Brita01
    Originally posted by Zee_RN
    "1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. "

    My husband's personal favorite! I'm always reminding him of things he said and he has NO recollection of it all!! He wants this engraved on the refrigerator.

    I have an ex-boyfriend who could never remember anything that we discussed in the past unless it had to do with sex. Then he could quote me word for word. Typical!

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