medical terms

  1. A quick guide to a few medical terms:-)

    Artery - the study of paintings
    Barium - what's done if a patient dies
    Cat Scan - searching for kitty
    Cauterize - made eye contact with her
    Coma - a punctuation mark
    D & C - where Washington is
    Dilate - to live a long time
    Enema - not a friend
    Fester - quicker
    Fibula - a small lie
    Impotent - distinguished and well known
    Labour Pain - getting hurt at work
    Medical Staff - a doctors cane
    Morbid - a higher offer
    Nitrates - better than day rates
    Node - was aware of
    Outpatient - when a patient faints
    Post Operative - delivers the mail to the ward
    Recovery Room - a place to do upholstery
    Rectum - Damn near killed 'em
    Secretion - hiding something
    Seizure - a Roman emperor
    Tablet - a small table
    Ultrasound - very good music
    Urine - the opposite of "you're out"
    Varicose - nearby
    Vein - conceited
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  2. 4 Comments

  3. by   MrRNman
    That's funny as hell!

    I always twist words to make my patients laugh--like when they are waiting to get their blood "drawn", I tell them that we're waiting for the artist.

    Who delivers letters to the doctors?
    The male nurse! (i.e. mail nurse)
  4. by   Keely-FutureRN
    He. He. I love these!

    Keely
  5. by   Danamegg
    Hey this is cool !!!! :chuckle
  6. by   Nurse Paine
    lol...hows about this..?
    benine(spl?)- what you are after you be eight

    my high school med. a & p teacher had something like that up on his wall

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