mangled diagnoses

  1. i have heard a few...anyone alse?

    "my cousin's son has smilin' men-in-jesus." (spinal meningitis)
    "i have sick-as-hell anemia." (sickle cell anemia)
    "my doctor said i have romantic heart disease." (rheumatic heart disease)
    "i been coughin' alot. i think i got ammonia." (pneumonia)
    " i haven't moved my bowels in 25 hours. i need some milk of amnesia, dearie."(good ole mom)
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  2. 27 Comments

  3. by   SmilingBluEyes
    Prostrate cancer. UM WHAAAAAT???? best not take THAT lying down! rofl

    Microbacterial infection (mycobacterial)....hmmm do they have MACRObacteria??? if they do eeeeek!
    Last edit by SmilingBluEyes on Sep 30, '02
  4. by   LasVegasRN
    Well, my southern relatives always say, "Sugar Diabetes" and "Yellow Jaundice". I always want to ask if there is a Salt High Blood Pressure and what happens if you get Purple Jaundice.
  5. by   shannonRN
    Originally posted by LasVegasRN
    Well, my southern relatives always say, "Sugar Diabetes" and "Yellow Jaundice". I always want to ask if there is a Salt High Blood Pressure and what happens if you get Purple Jaundice.
    :roll :roll :roll
  6. by   dianah
    LV, your post reminded me of the little old man who, when I asked if he was a diabetic, turned large eyes upon me and with wide-eyed and earnest solemnity, answered, "No ma'am, I'm a Christian." THEN I asked, "Do you have sugar di-betes?" To which he promptly replied in the negative!!! Gotta love 'em!!
  7. by   dianah
    "Pre-infarted angina . . ."
  8. by   GPatty
  9. by   CMERN
    Originally posted by dianah
    "Pre-infarted angina . . ."

  10. by   LasVegasRN
    Originally posted by dianah
    LV, your post reminded me of the little old man who, when I asked if he was a diabetic, turned large eyes upon me and with wide-eyed and earnest solemnity, answered, "No ma'am, I'm a Christian." THEN I asked, "Do you have sugar di-betes?" To which he promptly replied in the negative!!! Gotta love 'em!!
    :roll
  11. by   kmchugh
    Originally posted by dianah
    "Pre-infarted angina . . ."
    No, no! This is possible. Some of my patients have passed gas that gave me chest pain! :uhoh21:

    Kevin McHugh
  12. by   donmurray
    I once had a referral on a 75 year old man with Alzheimers who was described as "Foetally incontinent" Temp. secretary didn't last long!
  13. by   CATHYW
    Originally posted by donmurray
    I once had a referral on a 75 year old man with Alzheimers who was described as "Foetally incontinent" Temp. secretary didn't last long!
    Oh, man, Don! Where were they putting all of the foetuses?

    I was told by a woman that she had "flea bites," aka phlebitis.
  14. by   Just Angi
    I used to work with a gut who told me he had to take too much "medification" because of his "influcema"

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