LOL moments at work

Nurses Humor

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Specializes in LTC.

1. 95 year old patient watering the plants out of his urinal.

2. Me: Mrs. Jane are you in any pain?

Mrs. Jane: Yes, looking at you.

3. Giving patient some medicine and she says " I don't want this, just give me a bottle of beer" Me: sorry I don't have my liquor license yet.

share some of you lol moments at work.

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Specializes in LTC.

Oh jesus too many to remember.

5:55am.

Elderly male patient- "Are there any more pancakes left"

Me- "Mr Smith its way too early to even be thinking about breakfast"

*His roommate is laughing at this*

Elderly male patient- "It's 5 minutes to 6 o clock in the morning."

Me- "You have 2 hours until breakfast"

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Specializes in med/surg, wound/ostomy.

After doing a dressing on a patient, who had just had pain med - "Go away so I can enjoy the effects of my pain med."

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Specializes in Med/Surg, LTC, Rehab, Complex Care.

Wow, been a nurse for only a few months and there are tons of lol moments!

Saying goodnight to a pt and pt replies "have a nice vacation!" ...

Non-verbal alert pt pointing to good veins where i should start the IV ... LoL!

90-something pt telling all the nurses a dirty joke! (can't repeat here lol)

Dr. asking nurses very loud "Where do you keep the lube?!?"

Theres lots more that i cant remember at the moment!

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I'm doing my mental health clinicals right now.

Asking a psych patient, "Do you like to play card games here?"

He says, "Oh, yes. My favorite is horse shoes!"

Seems like a hard game to play with cards.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Ortho, ASC.

Ambulatory surgery center setting:

Overweight patient, with equally overweight mom and dad.

Dad puts on the call light and says (with southern drawl) to nurse when she arrives...

"How much longer are we gonna be here? This woman (points to wife) is a diaaahbetic and the only thing she's had to eat today is a doughnut!"

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Specializes in ED, L+D,.

Was looking after a 90-something lady, had a conversation that went something like this -

Me: Hi, I'm Rebecca, I'm your nurse for the day

Her: Oh, my best friend was called Rebecca

Me: Ah, thats nice....

Her: She was lovely, her birthday was in September

Me: Oh, wow - *my* birthday is in September too!

Her: Her birthday was on the ** of September

Me: Really? *my* birthday is on the ** too!

At this point, the sweet old lady looks me up and down, then says in a low evil sounding voice...

You are NOT my friend!

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Specializes in ED, L+D,.

Oh, and another one while I think of it....its slightly more towards the 'shocking' side of the scale than the LOL side, but if you're warped like me you might see the humour!

Was working in the peds section of the ER. I hate peds for various reasons. Anyway, was having a hard time convincing this 2, almost 3 year old to take his dose of prednisone. Finally got him to open his mouth, I quickly squirted it in. He promptly spits the lot straight back at me, and says in a loud voice...

"It tastes like f*cken sh*t you b*tch"

???????? Am totally shocked - look at the mother to see her response (knowing if MY children had ever dared behave like that they would have been in deep doodoo!) and she's laughing her head off and says "guess he don't like that none".

Ummm, yeah...and I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree either.....

(should mention I work in a dodgy part of town!)

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Specializes in LTC.
Oh, and another one while I think of it....its slightly more towards the 'shocking' side of the scale than the LOL side, but if you're warped like me you might see the humour!

Was working in the peds section of the ER. I hate peds for various reasons. Anyway, was having a hard time convincing this 2, almost 3 year old to take his dose of prednisone. Finally got him to open his mouth, I quickly squirted it in. He promptly spits the lot straight back at me, and says in a loud voice...

"It tastes like f*cken sh*t you b*tch"

???????? Am totally shocked - look at the mother to see her response (knowing if MY children had ever dared behave like that they would have been in deep doodoo!) and she's laughing her head off and says "guess he don't like that none".

Ummm, yeah...and I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree either.....

(should mention I work in a dodgy part of town!)

wow.thats terrible !

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Oh, and another one while I think of it....its slightly more towards the 'shocking' side of the scale than the LOL side, but if you're warped like me you might see the humour!

Was working in the peds section of the ER. I hate peds for various reasons. Anyway, was having a hard time convincing this 2, almost 3 year old to take his dose of prednisone. Finally got him to open his mouth, I quickly squirted it in. He promptly spits the lot straight back at me, and says in a loud voice...

"It tastes like f*cken sh*t you b*tch"

???????? Am totally shocked - look at the mother to see her response (knowing if MY children had ever dared behave like that they would have been in deep doodoo!) and she's laughing her head off and says "guess he don't like that none".

Ummm, yeah...and I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree either.....

(should mention I work in a dodgy part of town!)

I laughed til i cried at this! VERY good post!

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Specializes in PACU, OR.
Oh, and another one while I think of it....its slightly more towards the 'shocking' side of the scale than the LOL side, but if you're warped like me you might see the humour!

Was working in the peds section of the ER. I hate peds for various reasons. Anyway, was having a hard time convincing this 2, almost 3 year old to take his dose of prednisone. Finally got him to open his mouth, I quickly squirted it in. He promptly spits the lot straight back at me, and says in a loud voice...

"It tastes like f*cken sh*t you b*tch"

???????? Am totally shocked - look at the mother to see her response (knowing if MY children had ever dared behave like that they would have been in deep doodoo!) and she's laughing her head off and says "guess he don't like that none".

Ummm, yeah...and I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree either.....

(should mention I work in a dodgy part of town!)

I frequently get kids as young as three or four (in PACU) who, as soon as they are awake and capable of speech, will start shouting words to the effect of "your mother's *unmentionable part of anatomy*".....

I had to give an IM pain med once; as I was about to inject the patient, I said, "Just a little prick" to which the gentleman replied, "That's what my girlfriend always says..."

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Specializes in geriatrics, dementia, ortho.

I went in to wake up one of my residents (work in dementia care facility) one morning and said "Good morning Jane, how are you?" and she sat up in bed and said calmly "The Borg are here trying to get me. Make them go away, will you?"

LOL I had no idea this woman had ever seen an episode of Star Trek in her life!

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