Just for the laughter~~~~~~~

  1. SOME LAUGHTER~~~~~ GOOD FOR THE SOUL!!!!!!!!!

    Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
    A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

    Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
    A. Because it's worth it.

    Q. What is a Yankee?
    A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

    Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
    A. They both like a tight seal.

    Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
    A. Their balls are just for decoration.

    Q. What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"?
    A. About three inches.

    Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
    A: Breasts don't have eyes.

    Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
    A. The swallow.

    Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
    A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

    Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
    A. They don't have balls to scratch


    Rodeo Position
    Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite sex positions.
    One says, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best."
    "I don't think I have ever heard of that one," says the other cowboy, "What is it?"
    "Well, it's where you get your girlfriend down on all fours and you mount her
    from behind. Then you reach around and cup each one of her breasts in your
    hands and whisper in her ear, "Boy, these feel just like your sister's."
    "Then you try to hold on for 8 seconds.

    AND ANOTHER~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    blonde joke

    >A young man went on top of the roof of his

    >apartment building in order to get a little color

    >for himself. Not wanting any tan lines to show,

    >he sunbathed in the nude. Unfortunately, the

    >young man fell asleep while on the roof and

    >managed to get sunburned on his 'tool'.

    >

    >Being very determined, the young man decided not

    >to miss his date, because it was a hot blonde.

    >So, he put some lotion on his manhood and wrapped

    >it in gauze, feeling this should resolve his

    >painful situation. The blonde showed up for the

    >date at his apartment and the young man treated

    >her to a home cooked dinner, after which they

    >went into the living room to watch a movie.

    >

    >During the movie however, the young man's sunburn

    >started acting up. After several minutes of

    >extreme discomfort he asked to be excused. A

    >friend had told him that milk was very effective

    >in reducing sunburn pain, so he went to the

    >kitchen and poured a tall, cold glass of milk. He

    >placed his sunburned member in the milk and

    >experienced immediate relief. The blonde,

    >however,

    >wondering what he was doing, wandered into the

    >kitchen to find him with his "Love Muscle"

    >immersed in the glass of milk.

    >

    >With a look of understanding, the blonde

    >exclaimed, "So, THAT'S how you load those things!!

    >
    AND ONE MORE,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

    WHY ATHLETES CAN NOT HAVE REAL JOBS
    > >
    > >
    > >Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all
    > >them kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan't all the kids to
    > >copulate me."
    > >................................................. ......
    > >New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I
    > >want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
    > >................................................. ......
    > >And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my own mother
    > >to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run
    > >over Joe's Mom, too."
    > >................................................. ......
    > >Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:
    > >"He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
    > >................................................. ......
    > >Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in
    > >football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman
    > >Einstein."
    > >................................................. ......
    > >Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to
    > >graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
    > >................................................. ......
    > >Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up
    > >alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, then
    > >line up in a circle."
    > >................................................. ......
    > >Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don
    > >King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison
    > >for three years, not Princeton."
    > >................................................. ......
    > >Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color
    > >photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my
    > >name, I can still find my clothes."
    > >................................................. ....
    > >Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of
    > >heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the
    > >morning regardless of what time it is."
    > >................................................. ......
    > >Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach
    > >Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a
    > >baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."
    > >................................................. ......
    > >Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son,
    > >what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't
    > >know and I don't care.'"
    > >................................................. ......
    > >Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a
    > >player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're
    > >spending too much time on one subject."
    > >................................................. ......
    > >Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on
    > >all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because she is too dadgum ugly to
    > >kiss good-bye."
    > >
    :roll ~~~ kitamoon
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  2. 6 Comments

  3. by   ?burntout
    :roll
  4. by   Beach_RN
    giggle giggle!
  5. by   school angel7
    :roll
  6. by   dstudent
    LOL that sure is just what the NURSE ordered
  7. by   stressedlpn
    :roll :roll :roll just to funny:roll
  8. by   dstudent
    Cool

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