Jokes for women

There's jokes for women and jokes for men. They tend to make fun of one or the other. I just thought these were humerous. Sorry guys!



Marriage (Part I)

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the
wedding,
he laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want
and
at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a
great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home
for
dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want
with
my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my
rules. Any comments?"

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that
there
will be sex here at seven o'clock every night . . . whether you're here
or
not."



Marriage (Part II)

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding
anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a
headstone
that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.'" "Yeah?" she replies.
"When
you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, "Here Lies My Husband
-
Stiff At Last.'"


Marriage (Part III)

A husband (doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast
table.
Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed
either,"
and storms out of the house. After sometime he realizes he was nasty
and
decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after
many
rings and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer
the
phone?" She says, "I was in bed." "In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting
a second opinion!"


Marriage (Part IV)

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so
proud
of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six " in spite
of
her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that
it's
time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as
well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of
six?'"
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right
back,
"Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."



"God may have created man before woman but there is always a rough
draft
before the masterpiece."