Jokes for women

  1. There's jokes for women and jokes for men. They tend to make fun of one or the other. I just thought these were humerous. Sorry guys!



    Marriage (Part I)

    Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the
    wedding,
    he laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want
    and
    at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a
    great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home
    for
    dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want
    with
    my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my
    rules. Any comments?"

    His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that
    there
    will be sex here at seven o'clock every night . . . whether you're here
    or
    not."



    Marriage (Part II)

    Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding
    anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a
    headstone
    that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.'" "Yeah?" she replies.
    "When
    you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, "Here Lies My Husband
    -
    Stiff At Last.'"


    Marriage (Part III)

    A husband (doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast
    table.
    Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed
    either,"
    and storms out of the house. After sometime he realizes he was nasty
    and
    decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after
    many
    rings and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer
    the
    phone?" She says, "I was in bed." "In bed this early, doing what?"
    "Getting
    a second opinion!"


    Marriage (Part IV)

    A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so
    proud
    of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six " in spite
    of
    her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that
    it's
    time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as
    well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of
    six?'"
    His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right
    back,
    "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."



    "God may have created man before woman but there is always a rough
    draft
    before the masterpiece."
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  2. 5 Comments

  3. by   gwenith
    :chuckle
  4. by   mighty mouse52
    add this one My sister in law wanted more than one child her husband didn't, they fought over it for three years. Finnally one night she announced to her startled husband "Guess what I'm going to have a baby and I'm giving you first crack at being the father!"
  5. by   Noney
    :roll :roll :roll
  6. by   CashewLPN
    my oh my! hehe
  7. by   Shed13911
    Those were great, hope I can remember them next time I need a joke to tell!!

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