There's jokes for women and jokes for men. They tend to make fun of one or the other. I just thought these were humerous. Sorry guys!
Marriage (Part I)
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the
he laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want
at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a
great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home
dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want
my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my
rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that
will be sex here at seven o'clock every night . . . whether you're here
Marriage (Part II)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding
anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a
that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.'" "Yeah?" she replies.
you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, "Here Lies My Husband
Stiff At Last.'"
Marriage (Part III)
A husband (doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast
Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed
and storms out of the house. After sometime he realizes he was nasty
decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after
rings and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer
phone?" She says, "I was in bed." "In bed this early, doing what?"
a second opinion!"
Marriage (Part IV)
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so
of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six " in spite
her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that
time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as
well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right
"Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
"God may have created man before woman but there is always a rough
before the masterpiece."