Nurses Humor
Published Jul 3, 2003
nowplayingEDRN
799 Posts
In the beginning, God populated the earth with broccoli and
> >
> > cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow, and red vegetables of
> > all kinds, so man and woman would live long and healthy lives.
> > Then, using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's and
> > Krispy Kreme and Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"
> > And man said, Yeah!" And woman said, "And another one,
> > with sprinkles!" and they gained 10 pounds.
> > And God created healthful yogurt that woman might keep the
> > figure that man found so fair and Satan brought forth white flour
> > from the wheat, and sugar from the cane, and combined them and
> > woman went from size 2 to size 6.
> > So God said, "Try my fresh green salad. "And Satan presented
> > Thousand Island Dressing, and garlic toast on the side. And man
> > and woman unfastened their belts.
> > God then said, "I have sent you heart-healthy vegetables and
> > olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth
> > deep-fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own
> > platter. And man gained more weight, and his cholesterol went
> > through the roof.
> > God then introduced running shoes so that his children might
> > lose those extra pounds. And Satan countered with cable TV with
> > a remote control so man would not have to toil to change the
> > channels. And man and woman laughed and cried before the
> > flickering light and gained more pounds.
> > Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and
> > brimming with nutrition and Satan peeled off the healthful skin
> > and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them
> > and man began to look like a blimp!
> > God then recommended lean beef so that man might consume
> > fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created
> > McDonalds and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then he added,
> > "You want fries with that?" and man replied 'Yeah! And super
> > size 'em." and Satan said, "It is good." and man went into cardiac
> > arrest.
> > God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
> > And Satan created HMOs.