In the begining...

Nurses Humor

Published

Specializes in Step down, ICU, ER, PACU, Amb. Surg.

In the beginning, God populated the earth with broccoli and

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> > cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow, and red vegetables of

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> > all kinds, so man and woman would live long and healthy lives.

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> > Then, using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's and

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> > Krispy Kreme and Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"

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> > And man said, Yeah!" And woman said, "And another one,

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> > with sprinkles!" and they gained 10 pounds.

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> > And God created healthful yogurt that woman might keep the

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> > figure that man found so fair and Satan brought forth white flour

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> > from the wheat, and sugar from the cane, and combined them and

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> > woman went from size 2 to size 6.

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> > So God said, "Try my fresh green salad. "And Satan presented

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> > Thousand Island Dressing, and garlic toast on the side. And man

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> > and woman unfastened their belts.

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> > God then said, "I have sent you heart-healthy vegetables and

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> > olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth

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> > deep-fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own

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> > platter. And man gained more weight, and his cholesterol went

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> > through the roof.

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> > God then introduced running shoes so that his children might

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> > lose those extra pounds. And Satan countered with cable TV with

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> > a remote control so man would not have to toil to change the

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> > channels. And man and woman laughed and cried before the

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> > flickering light and gained more pounds.

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> > Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and

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> > brimming with nutrition and Satan peeled off the healthful skin

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> > and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them

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> > and man began to look like a blimp!

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> > God then recommended lean beef so that man might consume

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> > fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created

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> > McDonalds and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then he added,

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> > "You want fries with that?" and man replied 'Yeah! And super

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> > size 'em." and Satan said, "It is good." and man went into cardiac

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> > arrest.

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> > God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

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> > And Satan created HMOs.

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