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I love this Doctor!!!



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Aug 07, 2008 08:54 AM

I love this Doctor!!!

Updated Aug 16, 2008 at 11:38 AM by sirI



Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
________________________________________
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products
________________________________________
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
________________________________________
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
________________________________________
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry . My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
________________________________________
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: You're not listening.... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
________________________________________
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
________________________________________
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO! Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It's the best feel-good food around!!
________________________________________
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
________________________________________
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' IS a shape! !
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, "WOO HOO, What a Ride

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7 Comments
No. 1
from spiceyqueen
Old Aug 08, 2008, 06:14 AM

Default Re: I love this Doctor!!!
GEEZ, this got me laughing!! am going to have a very good shift tonight!!!!
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No. 2
from Tash4nvyblues
Old Aug 08, 2008, 08:56 AM

Default Re: I love this Doctor!!!
My sentiments exactly. What a great post.
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No. 3
from elefantastic
Old Aug 08, 2008, 05:10 PM

Default Re: I love this Doctor!!!
lol good one
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No. 4
from suzimaree
Old Aug 10, 2008, 05:46 PM

Default Re: I love this Doctor!!!
Worth a laugh or two, brightens up a day. thanks...he he he
wait till I tell them at work about this one.................
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No. 5
from 2bnurse-1
Old Aug 21, 2008, 08:16 AM

Default Re: I love this Doctor!!!
I crack up everytime I read this...
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No. 6
from coolvibesRN
Old Aug 24, 2008, 10:33 PM

Default Re: I love this Doctor!!!
LOL,this was funny.Thanx for the laughs
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No. 7
from jordanian nurse
Old Aug 28, 2008, 02:42 PM

Default Re: I love this Doctor!!!
thank you for this it's realy funny
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